When new clients come in for a reading, they very often ask me if we can determine if another person is in love with them.
I find this a very challenging reading to do because what does it mean to be in love? And is it the same for everyone? If we discover that another person is indeed in love with my client, will this still lead to disappointment if the other person’s definition of love is more platonic? Or if the other person is in love with more than one person at a time?
When a client comes to me with this type of question, I also think about why this is what they want to explore. While everyone wonders if the people in their lives return their feelings, not everyone decides to have a Tarot reading to find out. So, I wonder what else is happening with the client that they can’t trust their instincts in this situation, and why they may have doubts.
Consequently, when a client comes to me with this question, I suggest that they reframe the question in one of two different ways, depending on the conversation that we have about their intentions.
When in conversation with the client we determine that we need to better understand how their relationship (whether established or budding) is working, I suggest an eleven-card relationship spread.
This spread helps untangle how both parties perceive the relationship and what they want from the relationship. With this spread, for a happy relationship, we are looking for alignment of intention.
If one person sees the relationship very differently from the other or wants different things from the relationship, this can mean that the relationship fundamentally won’t work, at least not at this time. Or it can help the client see where to focus their energy when working on the relationship.
One card, which if drawn upright can signify a positive change in your relationship, is the Lovers Card. As said by Numerology Sign, “this could signal the beginning of a relationship that will lead to a long-term commitment or marriage.”
For this spread, I deal eleven cards. Four dealt vertically in the left, four cards dealt vertically on the right, and a triangle of three cards in the middle.
The cards on the left look at the client and their perspective on the relationship. The top card will reveal how the client views the relationship. The second, how the relationship makes them feel. The third, what it is that the client brings to the relationship. And the fourth, what the client wants from the relationship.
The cards on the right pull down the same information for the client’s partner (or the person that they are interested in).
The top card in the central triangle takes an objective look at the status of the relationship, while the card on the left reveals how the client perceives the state of the relationship, and the card on the right how their partner views it.
In the past, this reading has revealed when one person is ready to commit and move forward with building a life and a family together, but that the other, while loving and invested in the relationship, isn’t yet ready. It has also revealed when both parties in the relationship are ready to commit and make it exclusive, but neither has said anything due to fear of rejection.
Unfortunately, it may also reveal that one person genuinely in love, while the other is invested in the relationship more for material gain.
Fear Releasing Spread
When I talk to my client about their question and it becomes apparent that they want to know how their partner feels about them, the reason that they are uncertain is less to do with their partner and more to do with things going on in their head.
For this, I would suggest a fear releasing spread.
This spread helps us identify what is really going on with the client and why they are feeling the way that they are. It helps us develop strategies for them to overcome their inner struggle.
For me, this is a simple four card spread with one card at the top, two in the middle, and one at the bottom.
The top card identifies what the fear or insecurity is that the client is dealing with. Do they have a fear of betrayal, and is this leading them to question the motives of people in their life? Are they insecure about their value and worth, and is this causing them to feel like they aren’t good enough for their partner and therefore question their commitment?
The second card points to the cause of this fear, whether it is past betrayal, something that happened in childhood, or a toxic person in their life filling their mind with doubt.
The third card points toward how this insecurity is affecting their life. Beyond the apparent situation in their relationship, how else is this fear manifesting? Is it stopping the person from developing deep friendships as well, or from putting themselves forward for new opportunities?
The final card points towards things that the person can do to overcome and release this fear so that they can move forward.
For me, this final card that points to what the client can do is the most important, and a chance for me to remind the client that they are in control.
Many clients–especially new clients–think about Tarot as revealing a future that is set in stone. A Tarot reading looks at the energy of a situation, intentions of the key players within it, and reveals the most likely outcome. However, that outcome is not set in stone.
While it can be very difficult for an individual to change the course of world events, our intentions are of paramount importance and hugely influential. Changing our intentions can dramatically improve a situation. While we may not be able to stop something from happening, we can change how we respond to it, and therefore the meaning of this event for our lives.
This is how Tarot helps us shape the future, by showing us the consequences of our current choices and actions and giving us the chance to make changes.