We all have a past, most of us can’t even escape our 20’s without one. We go through our lives loving, losing, and hopefully loving again. It’s part of the human condition.

Sometimes you meet someone who seems really special. Maybe you felt safe with him or life was wonderful and exciting when he was around. You hoped it could last forever. Of course there were problems, but the sex was so hot or he was so attractive that it didn’t matter.

The point is, you loved him. You were crazy about him from the depths of your soul and you know that you will never meet anyone like him again.

The relationship is over now, but you still think about him. Very often.

This man got away and he is long gone now. Believing that he was the one and only person you could ever be happy with is dangerous to your romantic future.

This man wasn’t the One, he’s with someone else now and your attachment to this myth is costing you your happiness.

The one that got away wasn’t the One.

If he was, he’d be with you today. He left you! This man did not see your value, he did not choose you.

You deserve to be with someone who adores you. To spend any time hoping for the return of someone who left you is to refuse to be open to the man who will love you and create a life with you.

If you want to have lasting love in your life, you must let go of the one that got away. Stat!

Do you really think he’s pining for you while he’s grilling hot dogs with his family or taking his new girlfriend out on the town? Do whatever you need to do to move on, because he has.

Face the fact that it is totally, irrevocably over and take the time to mourn the relationship.

What you had together is over and he has moved on. You must move on as well if you are ever to find happiness.

If you are having trouble grieving the relationship and moving on, get some help from a coach. Holding on to the past will keep you alone and unhappy as long as you let it.

The one that got away is a ghost. He’s a figment of your imagination at this point. It is impossible for anyone new to compete with what you’ve made him out to be in your mind.

Realize that as time goes by we tend to lose touch with the way things really were. It can be very helpful to sit down and write a list of everything you did not like about this person and read through it when you are feeling wistful.

Many times we dwell in the past because it is easier than putting ourselves out there today.

Staying home with old memories may be painful, but it is familiar. Holding on to an old relationship can turn into a habit that keeps you stuck.

Opening up to new people and experiences may be uncomfortable but it is a must if you are ever to have love in your life again.

Don’t let your past keep you from having an amazing life. It’s time to let go of anything that is keeping you from having the love you want to have. The one that got away is just a myth, an idea in your mind at this point. He’s moved on and it’s time for you to do the same.

You can choose to let it go once and for all.

Once you’ve done so, you’ll be free to create a brand new dream of love that you can start moving toward today.

Renée Suzanne

Renée Suzanne is a coach for smart successful women who want to find love. She is the author of Ten Things You Can Do To Upgrade Your Love Life. Find out more or read her blog at reneesuzannecoaching.com.