The Big Question
“How do I make goal-setting my goal when I don’t even know what my goals are?”
Believe it or not, there are plenty of peeps who struggle with goal setting because they just don’t know what goals to set! Now, there are plenty of resources online – including here at FinerMinds – on how to set goals effectively, but before this step is worth taking, you’ve gotta know what you want. So this post is dedicated to the pre goal setting step of figuring out what to aim for.
Ready? Here we go …
Figuring out what you really, really, really want is actually pretty simple. But it’s not necessarily easy. The way that you figure out what to target in your goal setting (based, of course, on what you really, really, really want) is to follow your heart.
What makes you happy? What makes your heart ‘sing’? What are the sweetest dreams you hold for yourself and your life? When you answer these questions, you’ll know exactly what to aim for in your goal setting.
As I said, simple, but not easy. Why? Because there’s a little something (okay, a kinda BIG something) that usually gets in the way, foiling your greatest goals … your rational mind.
Oh, the rational mind is great – for balancing check books, and maneuvering in rush-hour traffic. But when it comes to the song in your heart, the rational mind can be a real bummer. because it’s the rational mind that wants to figure out ‘how’. It’s the rational mind that’s always busy saying ‘but.’ It’s the rational mind that offers words of discouragement when the path is anything less than utterly clear, or the outcome of a goal blatantly obvious. Yep, the rational mind will put a wet rag on your brightest dream whenever it can.
And the problem with this is that all the fuss, worry and doubt the rational mind creates will effectively filibuster your sweetest dreams. The result? Years or even decades of foot-dragging about goal setting for what you really, really, really want.
So if you want to set goals and then achieve them, the first thing you have to do is let go of one, single word …
The word ‘How’ will get in your way time and time again. Get rid of it – and the sooner, the better. Think about it this way: Any time you’ve ever made a big decision – to go to college, get married, start a family, choose a career, buy a house, etc. You didn’t know ‘how’ it was going to work out. There were (and are) an awful lot of ‘moving parts’ in any big choice in life. But you still made a choice to do something (other than hide in your room for the rest of your days).
Every time you make a decision, you take a chance. You aim for what you want, then do the best you can. Sometimes it works out great, other times, not so well, but you do it, you learn and you grow. Sometimes your direction changes from where you thought you were going to go: One choice leads to another opportunity or experience that you could have never thought of.
You can apply this same kind of ‘trust’ to choosing goals. Remember: just because you set a goal doesn’t mean it’s written in stone forever. Yes, you do want to commit to it and yes, you want to give a goal your ‘all’. But you can still leave space within your mind and attitude for ‘this or better’, as you move along. In other words: go with the flow.
In order to know what goals to set you want to:
- Follow your heart
- Let go of the “How?”
- Go with the flow
Do you know what you really, really really want? Have you been letting that cruel, 3-letter-word keep you from setting goals to achieve your sweetest dreams? What would it be like if you let “How?” go? Leave a comment and let us know.