We often blame outside influences for upsets or negative occurrences in our lives. However, our reality is actually shaped and crafted directly from our own beliefs.

So if there’s anything in your life that you’re not happy about, it might be time to examine some of your beliefs. 

One common belief, in particular, is that we’re only as worthwhile as others agree to see us. This burdens us with a feeling that ‘winning the good opinion of others’ is somehow our responsibility.

False Beliefs, Do You Recognize? Yes or No.Such a mistaken mindset leaves us the perennial victim of our relationships, and never the victor in them. The only way we can be released from any painful sense of false responsibility is to see that it is based on a false belief.

To see through the false belief is to be released from the weight of useless false responsibilities.

Dare to learn everything you can about your own false beliefs. Then watch how the weight of false responsibilities falls off of you.

Here are 6 false beliefs (and the false responsibilities that are never far away from them)

#1: Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs.

False Responsibility: You feel as if you must remain in control of everyone and everything at all times.

True Responsibility: Treat everything that happens to you as an opportunity to see through and transcend the unconscious burden of any false beliefs.

#2: You are only as valuable or worthless, as other people agree that you are.

False Responsibility: You’re convinced that you must do whatever it takes to win the approval of everyone you meet.

True Responsibility: Be real. Learn what it means to be in possession of yourself, starting with reclaiming your life.

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#3: You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel.

False Responsibility: You must always compromise yourself to ensure the contentment of everyone else.

True Responsibility: Steer clear of those who expect you to do for them what they won’t do for themselves.

#4: You must learn to “tolerate” friends and family who have agreed to live with or justify negative states

False Responsibility: You must continuously smooth over rocky situations. It’s your job to ensure that no one rocks anyone’s boat enough to tip it over.

True Responsibility: See all negative states as the unconscious, dark emotions that they are, and refuse to justify them in yourself, or anyone else.

#5: You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today.

False Responsibility: Unless you worry about and suffer over your past, your tomorrows are not going to turn outright.

True Responsibility: You can be a new person right now. Let go of anything that wants to revisit and relive the past.

#6: Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

Tired african-american business woman with headache at officeFalse Responsibility: It’s up to you to shoulder the weight of painful thoughts and feelings that want to drag you down.

True Responsibility: See that agreeing to suffer from your own mental and emotional states makes as much sense as blaming the French fry that just burned your mouth.

Let me encourage you to sit down and make your own list of false beliefs. Likewise, note the legion of false responsibilities that come with them.

Remember that your one true responsibility in life–the one action that will always see to your success in life–is always to be as awake and receptive to the present moment as you can be.

If we refuse to see what life is trying to show us about ourselves, then we can’t learn. And if we don’t learn the truth of ourselves, then true self-knowledge becomes impossible.

Without higher self-knowledge, there is no way to rise above ourselves; to reach that innermost path, that alone leads to the fulfillment of our highest possibilities.

Key Lesson

The real, unseen cause of our fear is the false belief that life can throw something at us that’s greater than our ability to change it.

But this is not true.

Within each of us–no matter what our culture, tradition, or religious background–lives a fearless immortal self, a transcendent nature that doesn’t fear unforeseen changes.


Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 40 books and audio albums on self-realization, including his brand new book The Secret of Your Immortal Self. Guy is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. Guy is a faculty member at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York and is a regular expert contributor to Beliefnet and the Huffington Post. For more information visit http://www.YourImmortalSelf.org/special/12160/