I know I am capable of financial flow in my life.

Not more things. Not more things to HAVE. Not more materialistic things. But more. More openness about being my true self and being able to open up to enjoyment and abundance.

I know I am capable. I know I have it in me to really expand. To really BE. But I also struggle with it. I also feel that I’m not worthy. That bad things will happen if I flourish.

Because of these conflicting ideas, I keep sabotaging myself.

  • I keep creating circumstances that give me glimpses of what my life could look like if I let go, trust, be open and BE ME.
  • And I keep giving attention to my “what-if” thoughts. “What if….If I…then something bad will happen”. And it’s not just a thought in my head. Bad things HAVE happened. And I keep giving those experiences more emphasis than all the other glimpses of what is possible.

I know I’m capable of more financial flow in my life.

I know I am.

But I’m also scared. I’m also scared to flourish. To Bloom. To BE. So I keep myself small. MEANING: I keep my finances low.

Finances are just a manifestation of a belief you have about yourself.

If you struggle with money, you struggle with a belief about yourself. Money is one way for a belief to let herself be seen. Especially when you LACK money.

Lack of money is a huge opportunity to grow. To learn more about yourself and about life.

This week I wrote a little post on Facebook with the same title as this article has. I was at a crossroad. I was being invited to reconsider my belief.

Every situation that makes you feel anxious, scared or insecure (or any other feeling on that scale) is an invitation to dive deep within and uncover thoughts with which you’re holding yourself back (a limiting belief).

Let me explain by giving you de details of that crossroad situation.

  1. My income stream is too little to do all the things I want to do
    This is a manifestation of a limiting belief I have about myself. With this belief, I’m holding myself back.
  2. I feel bad about that because I believe (the limiting belief) that I can’t change that.
    This point of view (I can’t change that) makes me feel bad. A negative emotion is there to show you that what you’re thinking or believing isn’t true for who you really are. That’s why it feels bad. You don’t feel bad about WHAT you think, you feel bad because what you think is NOT TRUE for who you are.
  3. I meet Ivy, the lease pony. A dream come true. Really and literally everything I have ever dreamed of.
    Ivy represents/is the manifestation of my desire. Learning natural horsemanship together with my daughter.

What do you do?

On the one hand, there’s this representation of a limiting belief with which I’m holding myself back: Lack of Money.

On the other hand, there’s a representation of a desire that resonates with who I truly am: Ivy.

Do you keep confirming your limiting belief and giving the thoughts that go with that belief emphasis? Or do you focus on the manifestation of your desire?

Do you see this as an invitation to transform your limiting belief and maybe, just maybe experience more than one manifestation of your true desire?

When you read this the answer might be obvious. But when you experience this, it’s a whole new ball game, because how do you cope with what comes up when you challenge your limiting belief by choosing your desire?

So when you’re at a crossroad in your life, where you manifest something that’s in accordance with your true desire on the one hand but on the other hand still have thoughts about yourself that you can’t do or have that thing/situation/experience (a limiting belief), you have an amazing opportunity to transform what has been holding you back.

If it was easy, I – or you- would have done it years ago. But I didn’t. Did you? I didn’t because of fear. Fear of the consequences.

So, how do you transform these thoughts and beliefs with which I (and maybe you) am (are) holding myself (you) back?

Well, to help myself with this, I wrote a free book about this. Here I will give a short summary of the steps I’ve taken before and I’m going to take with this opportunity.

  1. Create a loving environment within
  2. Be honest with yourself about how you feel
  3. Stop believing everything you tell yourself
  4. Forgive
  5. Be Love.

Here’s the breakdown of the steps to take:

1. Create a loving environment within

This is the first and most difficult step for me to take. My first reactions have always been to criticize myself when dealing with a limiting belief (Being: I feel I’m not worthy. Bad things will happen if I flourish).
So in order for my honesty and openness to be there (step 2), I need to change my way of thinking about myself and being. What I do with such a limiting belief is identifying myself completely with my negative thinking and doing. And with that, I am creating a certain experience (lack of money).

This loving environment you need to create for yourself is based on believing that you’re so much more than your negative thinking and doing. That you’re so much more than your fears and contractions.

2. Be honest with yourself about how you feel

This means it’s time for you to give space to your thoughts and emotions instead of ignoring them or stuffing them away somewhere in your unconscious.

In my case, this means being honest about how I talk to myself. How I’m so strict with myself. How I think so low of myself. If I’m not conscious of what I really and truly think I cannot change it.

3. Stop believing everything you tell yourself

Every negative belief that you tell yourself is not true. Stop believing what is not true. Stop believing those beliefs that don’t serve you. Stop making them true for yourself at the expense of yourself. Stop giving those beliefs your attention and energy by trying to convince yourself that they are true for you.

Everything that’s true for you, doesn’t need any convincing. What’s true for you is true for you whether you believe it or not. So beliefs that are true for you don’t need any convincing. They are true. Period.

4. Forgive

I’ve been so mad and frustrated about and to myself. And honestly, it feels easier to stay mad than to forgive myself. Because I thought that by forgiving myself I would say to myself that it’s okay that things have gone this way, while it doesn’t feel okay. But forgiving is not about that. Forgiving is not about saying things are okay, it’s about saying, “You are okay.”

By forgiving myself I’m saying that I am okay, even though I made certain choices. Even though I disappointed myself. Even though I let myself down. Even though I haven’t taken good care of myself. By forgiving myself I’m saying that I am okay, despite what I’ve done.

5. Be Love

After feeling your emotions and forgiving yourself and/or others it’s the perfect time to go the last step. To feel and be Love.You cannot not be Love as you are Life itself. You are more than your body and your thoughts. You are way beyond that and you are the same as the life creating force. You are a creator. You are the creator.

But all those beliefs and holding yourself back stand in the way of Love. Love is. Love is behind everything. It’s just up to you to make your way (back) to Love. To stop giving meaning to negative beliefs, start dealing with your negative emotions, forgive and be Love.

Before being “just” Love, Self-Love is the way to go. How can you love when you don’t love yourself? How can you love yourself when you blame yourself for so much and you don’t value yourself?

Final Note

These are the steps I’m going to take to transform my own limiting belief and to (finally?) start to flourish the way I’m supposed to regarding finances.

Because I know I am capable of financial flow in my life.

I know I am capable. I know I have it in me to really expand. To really BE me. Truly and unapologetically.

And I know you do too.



Carmen Smallegange

Carmen Smallegange is a coach specialized in uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs. Using her own life lessons she shines a new and fresh light on negative experiences to empower others to do the same and to acknowledge and step into their own amazing potential. 
You can get her free workbook on how to transform your fears. She expands more on the steps described in this article as well as specifically addressing the fear that’s been holding you back for way too long.