Date With Destiny is a seminar for the soul.

I’ve had the great joy of going twice now, my first time in 2013 and recently this past December in Boca Raton, Florida.

One might think why would you go to the same seminar twice?

Date With Destiny is never the same…

Date With Destiny is sacred, beautiful, amazing, epic, awesome, inspiring, transformational, and a mind-blowing experience where you experience 6 1/2 days with the legendary Tony Robbins and 3,000 other beautiful souls.

And Date With Destiny was recently produced into “I am not your Guru”, an award-winning documentary by Joe Berlinger.

Throughout the seminar, I took many notes to share some of these amazing life lessons.

These amazing life lessons include…

1. Frustration means you’re about to have a breakthrough

Nobody ever changed their life when they were satisfied or okay with how things are going. Its when you’re so frustrated and you hit a threshold that enough is enough and you must change NOW!

The new version of a breakthrough is living in a beautiful state, because success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. When you live in a beautiful state, you’re producing so much energy that you’ll not only make the breakthrough…you’ll enjoy every moment along the way.

2. Be cheerful instead of happy

The difference between cheerfulness and happiness is that when you’re cheerful, people get to see and experience it too.

Happiness is in your mind, cheerfulness fills people up from the Soul.


3. What’s your primary question? 

We all have a question that drives our focus moment to moment. Often, this question is unconscious and we don’t even realize it until we take the time to focus and discover what it is. For me it was How can I make progress faster? 

This may sound like a great question because its focused on growth and progress, but it also carries with it stress when things aren’t happening “fast enough”. Thus I chose to change my question and a week after Date With Destiny, I sprained my ankle and embodied trusting the timing of everything.

4. Perfection is not a standard

If you’ve been a perfectionist throughout your life, this is your wake up call. There is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is not even a high standard…its a standard that nobody will ever meet. When you choose to be a perfectionist, you will never be able to accept things as they are…which means you can’t be with life and this causes an enormous amount of stress and destruction in life.

5. Remember who you are at your core essence

Masculine and feminine, which is your core? Society, media and recent movies have flip-flopped masculine and feminine roles…confusing us in how to act to fit in with society. This causes challenges not only in relationships, but also in owning oneself as a person. How can you tell what your core is?

Masculine is driven by purpose and mission, craves freedom and brings raw presence.

Feminine is driven by intimate relationships, craves filling up and brings radiance and light.

We’re made of both energies, however there’s one that we’re dominant with. Remember what your core is and lead from there.

11 Epic Life Lessons I Learned At Date With Destiny

6. Polarity creates passion

Generally marriages don’t fail because of a lack of love. They fail because of a lack of passion. In fact, almost all relationships fail because of a lack of passion…and polarity is the key to passion. When a man shows up as feminine and his partner is feminine, there’s no polarity. Same for if a woman shows up as masculine and her partner is masculine.

If you are in a relationship and you feel that you’ve been experiencing these challenges, check out this article I wrote with solutions to bringing back intimacy in your relationship.

7. Triggers for masculine…

The three main triggers for the masculine happen when their partner criticizes them, closes up on them, or tries to control them.

Solutions to all three include appreciating the masculine, opening up to them with playfulness and giving them the freedom they need.

8. Triggers for feminine…

The three main triggers for the feminine happen when their partner makes them feel unseen, doesn’t try to understand them, and makes them feel unsafe.

The main solution is to give them raw presence… every time they need it.

9. Consciously choose your values

We’re often conditioned with rules as we grow up. We can change our rules, and what’s stronger than our rules is our values.

For me, I chose to make my #1 value God/Universe/Soul-guided decisions. Why? Because Tony says that its our decisions that lead to our destiny so I figured that these are the best decisions to make.

11 Epic Life Lessons I Learned At Date With Destiny

10. Live like so wide awake…like you’re driving a Bugatti at 233 mph

Tony said one of the coolest experiences of his life recently was driving a Bugatti at 233 mph. Date With Destiny is all about living life wide awake and conscious, and he used this metaphor because in order to drive and survive the experience…he had to be so wide awake. Any turn he made with a slight margin of error could’ve meant crashing…which could’ve meant death. When we live wide awake, we’re able to show up and bring and receive greater value from every situation in life.

11. Live an integrated life.

I first heard about spiral dynamics at Date With Destiny back in 2013. Its a map created by Claire Graves and later further developed by Ken Wilber on the stages of human consciousness since the dawn of mankind.

Currently there’s a first tier and second tier of consciousness. Donny Epstein spoke about the second tier of consciousness in a previous episode, and this has to do with humanity’s new awakening.

Tony does an exercise where people wear hats representing each stage of consciousness within the first tier and ends it with announcing the importance of living an integrated life.

We are all one, everyone has value, there are many parts of us…internally and externally. When we live from the 2nd tier of consciousness, abundance is our natural playground and love is our legacy.

I want to hear:  what destiny will you claim now?


Adam is the Host of The Soulfully Optimized Life podcast and a Peak Performance Leader for Millennials. He is also the Founder of The Age Of Epic community. Find out more about Adam at