Marriage is a common experience in the Western world. Unfortunately, so is divorce. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. For subsequent marriages, this rate is even higher.
There’s a popular belief that people who marry after 30 have more stable marriages because they are much more mature than, say, those who decide to tie the knot in their early 20s. Another reason for this is financial stability and more experience with navigating relationship challenges.
There have been numerous attempts to define a perfect age to get married, but the science cannot really decide something that’s so personal.
Should You Listen to Statistics and Common Knowledge?
When it comes to getting married, everyone seems to have an opinion about the best age to do that. Most of the people think that a person should take that lifelong step of commitment if he or she has financial stability, at least some relationship experience, and a vision for the future.
Simply explained, a person should “grow up.”
In my opinion, though, the discussion surrounding this topic is so fierce because of one simple reason:
People speak on their own experiences assuming that they will work for everyone.
However, the truth is that every person’s experience is unique, so the outcome of your marriage has nothing to do with the number of previous relationships or the years you’ve lived. It’s completely up to you, your character, and your experience.
Yes, this means that some people in their 20s are more ready for marriage than some folks in their 30s and even 40s. Instead of using age as the main determining factor, we’re going to use the following signs.
These signs show that you’re ready for marriage:
Sign #1: You feel increasingly out of place in dance clubs and bars
This feeling means that you already want to settle down, possibly with a significant other. If you don’t have this feeling, it means that your clubbing days aren’t over, and you’re ready to meet new girls and have some fun with them.
“When I started to feel out of place in clubs, I decided to plan for the future with my girlfriend and took a job at a professional essay writing service,” says Bruce Bledsoe, a writer. “At that point, I realized that it was much more important for me to earn money than waste them on clubbing.”
Sign #2: You are financially independent
Despite the increase in women’s contributions, men are still seen as family providers. According to a survey completed by the Pew Research Center in 2017, men are much more likely to place a particular emphasis on their role as breadwinner.
For example, 71 percent of surveyed men say they should be able to support their family financially (only 32 percent of women feel this way).
Image Source: Pew Research Center
Simply put, if you’re not financially independent, you’re not going to add the burden of supporting a wife and possibly children.
Sign #3: You put the time with your girlfriend ahead of random guy-time
If you choose to spend your free time with your buddies instead of your girlfriend, it’s pretty clear that you’re not ready for a serious relationship, let alone marriage. On the other hand, if your relationship with a particular girl reached a point where you put the time with her above everything else, you’re probably ready to marry her.
Sign #4: You are ready to make sacrifices for your girlfriend
A guy who is willing to move to another state to be closer to his girlfriend is more likely to marry her than a guy who makes phone calls. Of course, this may be a bit of an extreme example, but you get the idea.
Tips to Prepare for Marriage
Now that you know the signs that you’re ready for marriage (despite your age), I think you can use some tips to improve your preparedness a bit more.
1. Manage Your Finances
Learn to plan monthly budgets and long-term investments, including housing, travel, car, insurance, entertainment, and many more others. Tools like Mint, YNAB (You Need a Budget), and PocketGuard are the tools that can help you to get complete control over your finances.
2. Adjust Your Time
As it was previously described, men who are ready to tie the knot put their woman ahead of everything else. Remember that you’ll have to use every opportunity to spend some time with your girlfriend, even if it means changing your routine a bit.
3. Do Life Things Together
While doing “dating” stuff like going to the movies is great, a good idea is to start doing “life” things. You know, stuff like cooking dinner together, going to the local grocery store together, doing other errands.
This approach will let you see how you and your partner work together. Besides, this is the stuff you’ll be doing all your married life, so you might as well see what it’s like now and how you can deal with it in the right way.
The Bottom Line
While there’s a long-standing notion that marrying after 30 gives the best shot at a great marriage, it’s not universal. Instead of focusing on age, we focused on a number of signs that show your preparedness for marriage, so check yourself to see whether you’re getting closer to taking this tremendous step in your life!