I’m one of the lucky few who met the love of their life in high school. I’m also one of the unlucky few who’ve had to maintain a long distance relationship. We’ve been together for ten years and, at times, it was more difficult than I could have ever imagined. However, we’ve managed to overcome the challenges of being in a long distance relationship because we knew from the very beginning that our relationship was going to last.
High School Love
When my husband and I started our relationship, we were both the fourth year of high school, so we knew that as soon as the school year ended, we were going to different colleges. We were so young and in love that we didn’t really think about it much. However, with the end of the school year approaching, we realised that we needed to talk about our relationship. That talk was so awkward that it still makes me smile. None of us wanted to break up, but we hesitated to say how we felt because we didn’t want to scare the other person. When we finally started to talk openly, it was clear that we were about to tackle the challenges of a long distance relationship.
Once the school year ended, we decided to experience the summer to its fullest and spend as much time together as possible. We were constantly together, daydreaming about the future, which made going off to college even more difficult.
Once the college had started, we were excited about this new chapter in our lives. We had an opportunity to study something we were really interested in, meet new people and experience new things. We would talk for hours, sharing our experiences, complaining about the assignments and repeating how we couldn’t wait to see each other. Although we had a lot of fun during college, soon the excitement settled down and we were left feeling empty inside.
At first, we tried to see each other as often as possible, but with our studies and a lot of responsibilities, there were times when we didn’t see each other for months.
The truth is that being in a long distance relationship makes you wonder whether you really know and love each other or you’re just used to one another.
I started thinking about all the important moments in our lives that we missed, the lack of intimacy, and that aching feeling I constantly had. I started wondering what would happen when we graduate and about our future plans. I felt that everything was falling apart and that we were drifting away. At one point, we even decided to end our relationship. It took us a month to realise that we wanted to fight for our relationship. And so we did.
Marriage and Twins
After we graduated, we decided to get married. We wanted to spend our lives together and no distance was going to stop us. However, the cloud of a long distance relationship still loomed over us.
After college, we moved back home where I found a job as a professional consultant. My husband, on the other hand, is frequently away because he’s a navy officer.
Now, we have been maintaining a long distance marriage for years and being away from each other isn’t any easier. Of course, we know and love each other, have beautiful twins together and know that we will do everything to make it work. However, every time when he has to go away, I feel as if a part of me were leaving, too. And every time he comes back, I feel like a teenage girl waiting for her high school sweetheart.
Being in a long distance marriage requires a lot of effort, but I never doubt whether it’s worth it. Even after giving birth, I was mostly on my own, but I still knew that we were going to make it. Of course, my husband took some time off to help me out with our babies, but it seemed as if he had been there for a second before he had to go away again. And no matter how much I struggled on my own, the sound of his voice in the evening made everything all right again.
The Same Goals, Purpose and Love
Over the years, a lot of our friends have asked us how we make it work. And at times, I myself don’t know how we manage to do it.
When two people who love each other share the same vision of the future, the same goals and purpose, everything else falls into place.
Of course, we still needed to work on our relationship and deal with a lot of obstacles, but we worked towards the same goals. Keeping in touch regularly didn’t seem as an obligation, but as one of the highlights of a day. We have always respected each other, as well as all of our dreams and desires.
As we kept working on our personal growth, our relationship grew stronger, too. We truly and unconditionally love each other and we are still in love with each other. We support each other no matter what, share all the fears, hopes and dreams and we have never felt held back by one another.
It’s also about the little things, such as taking up the same projects, sharing the same interests and texting each other about silly, funny things that we know will make the other person laugh. Even in the middle of a business meeting.
Maintaining a long distance relationship can be excruciatingly difficult at times. However, if you truly love each other and want to make it work, no distance can stand in your way.