I have wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl… I have always expressed myself better through my writing.
I have written letters to three people over the last ten years that are all very significant in my life, looking for a healthy conversation, or closure, or me just spilling my guts. I feel each of these letters has done their job, so I decided to write another one, except this time, to myself.
I have never felt good about myself, and it has been a long road. I want to practice self-love. So here’s my letter to myself (and to you):
You’re a lot stronger than you realize. You’re a survivor. You have overcome all of the obstacles that have been on your path thus far, and you have come out strong. That was by choice.
A dear friend of yours says about himself, “I choose to be a good person because I want to be.” That’s just how easy it is.
Sometimes you don’t give him enough credit for the wisdom that he has given you. He has taught you patience, and trust. He has shown you that not everybody walks away. You must remember to thank him for that, always.
Now, it goes without saying that a lot of things have changed in the last few years. I think for a long time, you were under the impression that this was a bad thing. There were many moments of self-doubt and pain, but you got through them.
A lot of people have come into your life, and a lot of people have walked out of it. It hurt for a long time, and it felt like childhood all over again. You never really got to speak your piece to everybody, and that bothered you because the same thing seemed to keep happening to you. You have to let it all go.
People come into your life for a reason, and teach you what you need to know.
Some people will be in your life forever because you are continually learning from each other and growing together. Some people get off the ride early.
Things were fun for a while, and you got out and did all these things that you’ve never done, and you learned so much from the people that you were surrounded by. There will always be a place inside of you for them because they did pass on many life lessons to you — even if that lesson is that some people are meant to walk out.
For a long time, you were lost. You were broken from poor decisions because of a lack of guidance/self-value. It’s okay though, and you can forgive yourself now.
You have such a unique view of life from most people your age, don’t ever lose that. Cherish your weirdness.
Let your light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you. (the truth IS out there!). Live for the moment.
You spend too much of your time thinking about what you want the future to be like, and you don’t appreciate the very second that you’re in.
You have finally learned what true friends are, and who is true to you. Hold on to these people forever, because they are the ones that will walk through the fire with you.
Don’t sweat anybody that isn’t in your vibration. Respect them and shine light wherever you go, let go of the negativity that you sometimes still slip into.
Don’t beat yourself up, falling into negativity is a habit that was taught to you when you were young. Just be aware of it and change your thinking to positive. This DOES make a difference in life.
And if ever you forget, just remember all of the good things you have done for yourself in the passing of only two seasons. You have accomplished some significant things, don’t discredit yourself of that.
Never be ashamed that you had dreams of being a pop star when you were little, and that you still secretly love to fantasize about it. Never be afraid to dance. You have always loved it — let yourself free!
Never be afraid of your heart, or your intuition. Your intuition is your power, and nobody can take that from you.
Accept what you cannot change, and work only on yourself. Treat everyone with love and kindness, for you know not where their journeys have taken them.
Don’t drink too much; you get too sad. Have dinner at home with your family, and be grateful for every minute spent with them. Family is the most important thing.
Have faith that your prayers will be answered.
Get some sleep. Take care of yourself. Do yoga. Practice Wicca. Read every book you can get your hands on. Listen to your records.
Burn your incense. Shut your cell phone off now and then. Meditate. Never lose your rock and roll.
Laugh often. Love passionately. Live freely.
~ Love, you.”