Law Of Attraction And The Elephant In The Room: Why Things May Not Be Manifesting

I often hear people moaning about the fact that they have been practicing the law of attraction but still unable to manifest the things they want. They express this with a mixture of confusion, frustration and self-blame.  

It pains me every time I see this. When law of attraction doesn’t work, most people seem to take to blaming themselves.

Maybe they didn’t do it correctly. Maybe they didn’t visualize hard enough. Maybe they allowed negative thoughts to taint their efforts. 

In all likelihood, it is not your fault if your manifestation efforts didn’t work. It’s more likely due to the way you have been taught to practice it.

If you’re one of those who are looking for the “missing link” in the law of attraction, I have one for you right now that will transform your manifestation efforts.  

Here’s the problem I see:

When practicing the law of attraction (the way it is commonly practiced), we’re told not to focus on the thing we don’t want. We’re told that we must be utterly convinced about what we want and to focus entirely on it. What we focus on will become our reality, we’re told.

But even if we’re telling ourselves that we don’t want to focus on it, it is hard work. It’s the proverbial elephant in the room. It takes a lot of effort to try not to focus on something that causes us distress.

Herein lies the key to why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work most of the time: We deny our power by ignoring where we feel our power is.

There is power in distress. We need to go to where we’re distracted, to the place that takes our attention away from what we want, and extract power from it. Without this step, it is premature to go after what you want.

Before I tell you what to do, let’s look at what we need to stop doing first.

Contrary to what you’ve been told, you may sabotage your manifesting efforts when you:

– Fake optimism (“fake it til you make it”)

– Block your mind from thinking about what you don’t want

– Try to visualize what you want harder

The missing link, therefore, is this: Do not ignore the elephant in the room.  

#1  Be curious about the negative feelings you’re having

When you fake optimism, it is thoroughly exhausting and drains you of energy; as a result, there is little power behind your manifestation. Remember a time when you naturally felt inspired and excited about a goal? I bet it was effortless for you to conjure up positive imageries and evoking the feelings of having achieved it – and very likely you would have successfully manifested the goal.

When you have to fake optimism, it means that there is resistance inside you that is blocking you from achieving the goal. It is far more effective to spend some time examining and resolving this resistance rather than trying to cover it up with denial that it is there. Once you’ve resolved the resistance and there is a free flow of energy, you have more of a chance to succeed at manifesting your goal.

#2  Honor the message and power behind your block

Sometimes, the block you sense within you as you’re manifesting contains wisdom that can help you refine your goal. It is there for a reason, and sometimes it is part of your soul’s guidance to get you to the place of your highest expression.

Let’s say you really want to travel to a certain country you’ve never been to before. Somehow, as you’re manifesting this goal, the energy doesn’t flow naturally within you. You notice a resistance in you, and when you tune in closer you realize that you have a fear of being lonely once you get there. As you allow yourself to feel this fear, you receive an idea to reconnect with several old friends over there. Your trip turns out to be far more successful than you could have imagined; not only do you have a marvelous time with your friends, it’s led to new opportunities for your work.

#3  Relax and be more fluid

The idea behind visualizing a certain outcome is you’re trying to solidify the reality of that imagined outcome. By investing mental power into the imagery, you hope to turn the imagined into reality. Whilst the idea is sound, when there’s the elephant in the room, you are just trying to cover up what you’re really seeing with a layer of pretense.

I don’t know about you, but pretending something is not there is one of the most unpleasant things you can do. Have you ever had no money and visualized having money? To me, it just highlighted the fact that I had no money. Instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse. In other words, when you pretend something isn’t there, you may end up putting more energy into ensuring that it stays that way.

A better way is to relax and allow resistance to surface. Only when you acknowledge that the resistance is there can you begin to work through it and release it – and then you can return to focusing on what you want to manifest, without the “pushing up hill” feeling.

What have you been pretending isn’t there that you could acknowledge right now? Share your comments below :-)


Amyra Mah is the author of Embrace the Unlovable: How to Eliminate Shame, Guilt, Self-Judgements and Come Home to Yourself Using the Groundbreaking The Compassionate Self-Love Method . She is a deep soul-worker and addiction therapist specializing in healing deep emotional issues behind life challenges.