Rejection isn’t listed on the top 10 fears in the world for no reason. In this article, we’ll learn how to deal with rejection in 4 simple steps.
Rejection hurts, especially when you are the recipient of being rejected by someone you care about. Being rejected does, however, serve a purpose. It helps you evolve and fine-tune yourself. Being rejected enables you to understand yourself and others. As you learn to deal with rejection, you keep growing and becoming stronger.
Feelings of rejection can stem from something small, like asking someone to call you when they get to their destination. They can also come from something bigger, like inviting your partner to attend an event with you and being given a look of “You’ve got to be kidding, right?”
Yikes. Rejection from a love interest hurts the most. If your best friend forgets to call you, there is still going to be a friendship there, but when your partner denies your request, it can hurt like pouring salt on a wound.
When you are in a relationship with someone (or you want to be), and they reject you, it’s a pretty crummy feeling. It brings back old hurts or rejection from your ex-lovers, and you feel just the same way you did back then.
So how do to deal with rejection and the accompanying feelings?
You can accept it and simultaneously refuse to give it any meaning. You can’t make anyone else do anything, and if you try, you will both end up getting the bad end of the stick.
Every person on the planet has free will to live as they choose. And you also get to choose to do what you want in your life. The most important decision you can make for yourself is to choose to be happy, no matter what.
Here are a few things that will help you to deal with rejection in the future:
1. Allow your feelings
Don’t try to pretend rejection doesn’t hurt, because it does, and that’s OK. It’s a big blow to your ego. Stuffing down your feelings will not do you any good, nor will letting them take you over.
Being aware of these feelings of rejection and knowing they are just temporary can give you ease. Allow the emotions to come up to the surface and have a good cry if you need to. I promise you won’t cry forever.
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2. Step outside of yourself
Act as if you are another person watching a movie. You see the scene between you and your loved one in your head. You request a connection, and the other person rejects you.
Look at the entire situation. Not only your perspective but also look at the other person and what is going on inside of them and in their life. If they had let you sway them into saying yes, would it have served their highest good? Probably not.
Do you really want to be with someone who is a yes-man? They said no for a reason, and they probably felt awkward rejecting your request.
3. Don’t take it personally
Most people do what is right for them, and they don’t want to hurt you by saying no, but they have to say no to what feels right for them.
Often people who say yes, when they really want to say no, are people-pleasers. And while they are participating in their yes, they are feeling walked on and are wishing they would have said no. So accept their right to choose what is best them, but don’t accept that it means anything negative about you.
4. Make the right choice
This is your chance to choose. You may choose one of two roads. The first choice is the road to feeling worse. You can focus on how someone rejected your request, or you can choose the path to feel better. I know what I would want to choose.
No one would consciously choose to feel bad. So this is the time you need to be aware of the way you feel and make the right choice for you. It’s your turn. You can choose happiness and the path to feeling better.
The first road may be easier because you don’t have to think about it. But in the long run, a little retraining of your brain to choose the better feeling thoughts will serve your higher purpose. You can feel good about your decision.
So if you feel rejected by someone, go through the simple steps. Things will get easier for you each time now that you know how to deal with rejection.
The conscious awareness of your feelings and letting them go will help you fine-tune yourself to being able to handle it much better the next time. If you find yourself feeling bad anytime you get rejected, learn to see the whole picture and ask yourself, “what can I learn from this today to make my tomorrow even better?”