Another morning. Another day. You lay down in bed, trying to behold the last quiet moment before your alarm rings.

You close your eyes but you cannot sleep.

You wish this moment would last an eternity.

You don’t want to get up. You are frustrated to think of what awaits you today. With your eyes closed, you can picture how your day will go by.

Your house is a mess. Your husband and your children do a wonderful job to keep the house always filthy and cluttered.

You need to do a morning house chore, cook breakfast, take your children to go to school before going to a job you hate.

You work your butt off for a dead-end job. Every day, you add more and more tasks to your to-do list. Your coworkers keep asking you to do them favors, do something for them and you just cannot say no.

Sometimes you wonder why everyone is so mean? Can’t they see that you are worked up?

After 8 hours struggling throughout the day, you come home and slave the living soul out of you again.

Finally, when you can get to bed, you wish for some magic to change this cruel reality.

You never do a bad thing to anyone or anything. You don’t deserve to live like this. You deserve a better life.

But still, why is your life such a misery?

Maybe you came here to find some answer. And I might have some for you. Here is a list of some reasons why. Tell me, how many of them are you guilty of?

1. You Are Too Kind

You always put others before yourself and back down from your requests if they are inconvenient to someone. You are always willing to help other people. Everyone talks about you as the nicest person they have ever met.

Only this isn’t a good thing.

You are too kind to everyone, you bend over backwards for everyone you met. People will start coming to you only when they need something. They expect you to fulfill their need.

How many times you see a coworker approaching you and you can tell that he is asking you a favor?

How many times your husband and children demand sudden work from you and you feel that you have to try harder instead of telling them to do it themselves?

Sometimes, being selfless is actually selfish, not only to yourself, but also to everyone around.

If you want to be more kind and giving, try to be a little less “nice”.

Start eliminating this reason by sitting back and thinking, “What am I supposed to do? Is this my work or their work? What would teach them if I don’t do this for them? Should I help them this time?”

Work makes us human. Work helps people develop. If you really want to help them, give them a chance to thrive.

2. You Are Responsible

You are reliable. You know what to do. You know how to get a job done.

Everyone else knows you are the best. None can compare to you. If you let someone do something, they would screw up and you have to redo it.

Why even bother letting them do it at the first place? It would give you more work to do.

You decided to step up and take care all of those responsibilities for everyone. You want to make sure everything run perfectly.

After all, you just want the best for your company, for your family. As a result, your parents expect you to take care of your siblings, your husband expects you to take care both of him and your children.

“You are so good at this”
“Only you know how to do this”
“I’m counting on you”

If those are the phrases you often hear, you are too responsible for your own good.

Being compulsively responsible puts your nervous system on red alert, causes chronic stress, which, in turns, undermine your health and lead to many serious illnesses.

It is time for you to set boundaries, learn to go with the “good enough” work. Do not expect everything to be perfect. Withdraw yourself out of other people’s duties and move on.

3. You Are Not Brave

Sometimes you let things happen because you are scared. You have so many fears in your life and let them get the best of you.

Most of us have ideas we’re too nervous to share, opportunities we’d like to pursue and things we’d really love to say or change… if only we were more courageous or, better still, guaranteed a successful outcome.

Our brains are wired to protect us from being humiliated, hurt and vulnerable. They overestimate the probability of things going wrong and therefore do the best to keep us away from those risks.

However, have you ever thought about how the lack of courage maybe costing you?

People disrespect you and don’t care what you have to say. They treat you like a doormat and walk over you. If you can’t even protect yourself, none will ever care to do so.

For your own sake, it is time to stand up and step out of your comfort zone. Walk like a badass in the office with your chest up high and your chin up. Speak loudly and laugh like none is looking.

At the beginning, you feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. But once you get used to it, you will gain confidence. Use it to speak up. Set a target every day that you will talk about an issue or idea that is important to you with your colleague or family.

4. You Are Generous and a Sweetheart

You talk to people. You listen to them and give them advice. Sometimes out of their burden, they mistreat you because they needed someone to feel their pain.

You understand that. You don’t take it personally and you always forgive them.

This is a dangerous habit.

You think when they calm down they would realize what they have done and they would appreciate your empathy? Instead, they disrespect you for doing that.

They did not pay you to ask you to show your empathy, to deal with their moody behaviors but you still do. They will treat you as their stress box, not bother to care how you feel because you wouldn’t do anything about it anyway.

It is time to stop all of that.

Stop listening to their complaints. Stop showing empathy.

Their negativity will always affect your feeling. Stay away from it.

If they mistreat you, tell them off. Tell them you don’t have to take that from anyone. Tell them how you feel when they do that and how you have forgiven them many times, but you won’t do it anymore.

5. You Don’t Want to Have a Better Life

As crazy as it sounds, but sometimes you live a miserable life simply because you asked for it.

Are you aware that the crappier you feel, the worse the situation becomes?

Is this just a coincidence?

No. This is because you focus on the wrong thing.

There is one simple rule that applies for every living thing on Earth – Law of Attraction. It receives your thoughts and reflects back to you those thoughts as life experience. It simply gives you whatever you are thinking about.

Understand this rule is vital but it doesn’t mean you can completely change your thoughts and focus.

Fortunately for you, we can train your thoughts.

Start practicing meditation. Picture yourself as a magnet that attracts like things. Shift your focus from all the negativity you want to AVOID to all the good things you want to ACHIEVE.

When you realize you are not focusing on the right thing, simply acknowledge and turn back on track.

It is your time…

Imagine waking up feeling excited for a day full of happiness ahead. Your house is nice and tidy. You can enjoy your morning book before kissing your husband and children goodbye.

You drive to work, which you know will be fun and challenging. Best of all, you receive all the supports you need and your work is appreciated.

Every day is another small adventure wait for you to explore. You drive home feeling happy to finally see your loved ones.

It has been a day you haven’t seen them. You missed them and can’t wait to tell them how much they mean to you.

You go to bed, satisfied and relaxed. You are literally living your dream. You just can’t wait to find out what tomorrow will bring.

Sounds too good to be true? It’s not.

Now you know why you are not living the life you deserve and desire. It is your turn to make an action. It is time to do the work, eliminate those reasons and turn your life around.

Your dream life awaits. Live it now. Right now.

Mai Pham

Mai Pham

Mai Pham is a health and fitness blogger who has lost over 10 pounds by following a balanced lifestyle. Her mission is to help people to get fit, feel healthier so they can enjoy their lives to the fullest. Grab her cheatsheet: 5 secrets to lose 10 pounds in 2 months without starving yourselves - for dieters who have tried everything else. Find her on Facebook.

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