The abundance of positive things and joyful occurrences happening in your life is a Divine Right, but only under certain conditions may you experience these benefits.
Getting annoyed and frustrated will indeed happen in this world of seeming limitations and illusions, but it is only with the engagement of these annoyances that you will strangle your chances to live a joyful and near-effortless life.
Before we go into these five reasons that you get annoyed and what to do about it, let us be absolutely clear that it is the interaction with the annoying feelings that will be a downfall- and not merely that feeling itself.
To reiterate this very important point, take heart in knowing that negative feelings to not deter your luck. It is only when we make decisions and react to these feelings that we head down the slippery slope of… unwanted circumstances.
Now are there only five reasons why people get annoyed? Are there actually less than five reasons? Well, we must keep this article at a certain length, so let us see how we do with these 5. You may be surprised that all specific annoyances can be deduced to just one or two things.
At first, you may even deny these ideas. But I do promise on my reputation that these are Universal Truths that apply to every being on Earth.
So here we go.
1. If someone is acting in a way that you are secretly scared of acting like, this will upset you.
2. If someone is trying to get away with a certain type of behavior which you know you cannot get away with, this will anger you if you secretly wish that you could get away with it too.
3. If someone is requesting or demanding that you do something, yet they make it difficult for you to do, then this will greatly trouble you. This will occur even if you don’t understand certain specifics in the situation.
4. If you are in denial of (or simply blind to) your own troubling conduct, anyone displaying those traits will frustrate you.
5. Your pre-programmed mechanical responses to situations will ALWAYS immediately or eventually lead you to encumbering emotions.
By now, I would not be surprised if we have cleared out 50% of the room. Perhaps though, as many as 85% are still with me here in this forum. I do understand that this list may indeed trouble some people. Said troubling would fall under number three. But I also know in my heart that this list will help everyone immediately or eventually.
So let’s take it one by one, step by step. Try the following solutions out, and some profound things may occur in your life today.
First, understand that anger is never right. With this understanding in mind, investigate within yourself if the other person is doing something that you once got in some sort of trouble for. Perhaps you were yelled at, or lost an opportunity for acting the same way. You WILL eventually find that you did what they are doing, and that you hope you don’t do it again. Investigate that there really are suppressed fearful feelings- which you will have to un-suppress and feel, in order to be free from this particular emotional problem.
When you see a person that just ticks you off, you must ask yourself “what do they think they are trying to get away with”.
And upon answering that question, you must then ask yourself, “Don’t I wish I could get away with that too.” (It will ALWAYS be a yes.) When you have answered these questions correctly, you will laugh and let it go. You will cease to be bothered by the person.
This one is a little different. This is what is known as a “double bind”. It occurs when you are being pressured to do something and the pressure-er is making it impossible to do it. This comes in sorts of shapes and sizes, and can even kill people. There are two ways to get past this. The first way is to run away. If that is not possible in a situation, the second way is to gain “frame control”. You simply can start “controlling the frame” by asking questions. The act of asking questions is also known as reframing. Once you ask the right questions of yourself, and possibly to the other person, you can be free of the double bind.
Any part of yourself you cannot see, or refuse to see for fear of punishment, will bring out perturbations when dealing with others. All you have to do is to simply know this and then investigate ALL perturbances big and small, in this light.
This is a big one to explain and to give you a solution for, but you can start today on your path of having a joyful life.
The first thing you can do to transcend these insidious pre-programmed behaviors, is to endeavor keeping ONE word in mind repeating it over and over. See how long you can do this for. You will find that at first the mechanical thoughts stop your exercise in a VERY short amount of time. This will give you a very important clue as to how preprogrammed you are acting.
Preprogramming always leads to misery! So… practice this again and again. If you get even to two minutes, you are well on your way of breaking free of the mechanical tendencies. If you can get to five minutes, you can consider yourself a master in training. At that point, do this exercise with mantra words, or positive words (one only at a time) several times a day even if for just a short amount of time each. You will soon totally understand the difference between Intentional Thought and mechanical thought.
The benefits are of mastering these are at least threefold.
A. You will stop being annoyed, frustrated, and perturbed so that you can react more clearly and productively.
B. You will catch yourself right before you are about to bother someone else- and you will stop bothering others in ways that you did not even realize you were doing.
C. There will be no more unpleasant surprises from others because you have stopped bugging them, and you are completely unblinded to how you conduct yourself.
Many of my esoteric students and clients have found success with these approaches, and I know you will too if you apply them thoroughly. I’d like to Vernon Howard for his influence in identifying and understanding these items, which can be applied to the smallest and largest challenges every day.
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