Do you OWN your own life? I mean really – are you an intentional reality crafter, or is the world simply shaping you? Culturally-speaking, most of us have been raise to believe there are mighty external forces to contend with when it comes to manifesting the life we want. There’s money, of course, and who you know, and what you know and geography and education and, and, and …

A Button or a Billion

But the Law of Attraction suggests that it’s as easy to manifest a button as it is a billion bucks. How can that be? Well, in terms of manifesting, the process is no different between manifesting a button and a billion. The difference lies in mindset. If you believe that manifesting a billion is a bunch of bogus bulls**t, then so it shall be. And here’s where the whole ‘culturally-speaking’ thing comes in. Because there is no common thread of belief that we can all live in abundance. There’s no model for it, no teaching of it to the very young, and no way, therefor, for most peeps to access this belief where it counts – in the subconscious.

I live on a mountain top by choice. Not because I don’t like cities or people, but because I only want to take them in small measure, and I’m really selective about the mindset I want to be around. So you might find it out when I tell you about “a friend” of mine (whose identity shall remain hidden). I suspect though, that you’ll recognize him/her, because there’s lots of them around …

The (Un)Happy Camper

My friend, let’s call her ‘Sue’ is a nice enough gal. She smiles a lot, never ruffles a feather, has a few friends. On the surface, you could say, “Sue is a nice girl.” But get to know her and things change pretty quickly. You see, Sue’s not a happy camper. Not at all. In fact, Sue has a lot to say about a lot of things, but almost none of it is very nice.

– her boss sucks
– her parents are jerks
– her boyfriend always does what he wants without consulting her
– her car needs work
– the weather sucks
– she hates waking up in the morning
– her skin is ‘aweful’ (not really, but she thinks so)
– her hair is boring (not really, but she thinks so)
– and of course, she doesn’t have enough money – ever.


A conversation with Sue is, for me anyway, an exercise in extreme patience. It’s like talking to Eeyore. Really. And the worse thing is, like Eeyore, it’s all about the complaint – not the solution. So here I am, this person who, for decades has pursued personal growth, self-healing, spiritual awakening and inspiring 1000s weekly to live more fulfilling, happy lives, but Sue, of course, knows much better than me. There’s nothing wrong with her, you see. It’s just that she can’t get a good paying job. If she did, it would all be better … mmmm hhmmm, right.

Now, I’ve learned over the years not to push my insights on anyone who hasn’t asked for them. So I long ago stopped offering insights to Sue when she’s on an Eeyore roll of complaint. But once in awhile a comment slips. Not advice, mind you, just alternate perspective. A perspective of a 25-years-your-senior might well have! Sue’s response? Complete and utter denial that there’s anything wrong at all. After all, all she needs is a better paying job which, some day, someone might give her …

How NOT to go through Life

Do you recognize this person? Let’s outline some of the main characteristics we find in peeps like ‘Sue’ …

1. NO Personal Power. All power is outside of Self. Boyfriends, bosses, parents, government, teachers, banks, IRS, whatever have command and charge of their reality.

2. A willingness to consistently complain and gripe and criticize everyone and everything else.

3. A refusal to own any personal responsibility – for either happiness OR misery.

4. An unwillingness to consider other points of view or seek ways to improve one’s ‘lot’ in life.

5. Bitterness and resentment toward those who ARE self-determined and create their own reality.

Now, you might be wondering why someone like me would bother will someone like Sue. After all, I know better than to try to ‘rescue’ anyone who isn’t willing to take action for themselves. And as I said, I’m very selective about the energies I’m willing to be around. So let’s just say for the sake of familial harmony, I’m willing to hold her in the light and spend a little time with her now and then.

I’ve learned a lot from my interactions with Sue. Admittedly, some of what I’ve learned is how NOT to be in the world, but more than that – I’ve been able to deepen my appreciation for the importance of claiming one’s personal power, no matter the external circumstances, childhood ‘traumas’ or daily dilemmas that arise.

Do you Know Sue?

Is there a ‘Sue’ in your life? Have you tried to inspire, inform & uplift him/her to no avail? How has this person helped you deepen your own understanding of personal power? Let me know in the comments below.

Dawn DelVecchio

Dawn DelVecchio

Dawn DelVecchio is a writer, traveler, speaker and coach. She's been living a life devoted to spirit and purpose for more than 28 years. As the author and host of, and a guest contributor to a number of personal growth blogs, Dawn shares insights, tips and practical tools for you to live a life of greater purpose, happiness and abundance. She is the author of the forthcoming book, Unlocking your Prosperity: 7 Keys to Healing your Money Mindset & Fully Stepping into your Calling.


  • Catt says:

    I think Sues are definitely unavoidable in life. But at the same time, since I believe everyone in your life reflects a part of you, and the more often they show up in your life, it means the more prevalent that part of you is present (ie. the energy you overlap with that person on is 40% present if you run into this person 40% of your time). It’s a very organic process, and it happens very obediently. With this said, the more prevalent Sues are in my life, the more I know I have to assess what has been going on in my predominat energy.
    I don’t know how to “deal” with Sues and they definitely show up. I think the worst is when they believe nothing is wrong by comparing it to people who are “even worse than they”. I think one thing to note though is that if you have a very different energy than Sue, they will have a harder time showing up in your life. And I’m still working on that, and it’s definitely hard because it’s easier to get annoyed. There are people who don’t have Sues in their lives though, and I think that’s something we can all learn from.

  • Ianlubsey says:

    Back to basics I say

  • Bastet says:

    Very well said Catt.

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