It is not multiple personality disorder what I am talking about here. It is the different roles we have created in our minds from a long time ago.
They come in and play when you have no other way to deal with a situation. Most of them were created as we were growing up.
They have been created to “protect” us. Their intention is to help.
The problem is that once you are an adult, this “help” becomes destructive instead of constructive. And because they were created for a reason in the past, they have been there for a long time.
They become part of your personality, but they are not YOU, and that is the main problem.
For you to be the authentic you, you must heal and let go of these different parts that play out every day in your life without you even knowing.
Each person will have specific parts that were created depending on their personal experience. It is a fascinating discovery for those in the road of self-knowledge and self-development.
What happens when we find out about the characters we play?
In therapy, the main idea and intention is to integrate these parts, by first of all understanding them and educating them into what it is that we want to be and who we are today. Letting them understand that we want to approach life and situations in a healthier and better way.
We want to be constructive instead of destructive.
This is done with patience and understanding. No parts can be sent away or destroyed. They are part of your creation and you now need to transform them into a positive support.
You can identify the parts by using hypnotherapy or by being self-aware most of the time. By being conscious enough to catch your behavior patterns and the way you “always react” to specific situations in your daily life; you can choose the behavior instead of reacting automatically.
This is done with work; self-knowledge and consciousness takes work and consistency. However, it won’t be so hard if you bring acceptance and love to the process.
Although the number of parts and what kind of parts you have created are different for each individual, there are three main characters that are common in all minds. By having these examples, you can get a better idea and identify the parts in yourself.
1. The Judge
It also may be called the critic or the parent figure.
This part is the one criticizing what you do or don’t do, how you do it, what you say, how you say it. It is the one telling you how you “should” be.
It is rigid, serious and most of the times, nothing is good enough for it.
The Judge is generally created from authority figures we had growing up; such as: parents, priests, police, doctors etc.
All you have to do is to pay attention to how you talk to yourself and how you “punish” yourself in many different ways. Observe it and stop identifying yourself with it.
Realize how “helpful” is it really being? How is it helping you to be and feel better or happier?
2. The Child
This is the emotional self. It’s usually formed by emotions that we didn’t process as children, and this part stays “stuck” somewhere feeling sad, lonely, rejected or abandoned.
On the other hand, the child may be attached to a time of playing and not having responsibilities; all it wants to do is to play. It resists growing up or being responsible for itself.
When this part is well taken care of and healed, your whole life and emotional intelligence grows and improves.
3. The Victim
The Victim feels sorry for itself, helpless and powerless, has no power to choose for itself.
This character is the one that feels as if the world and everyone around owes them something. It feels as if it depends on what happens “out there,” and blames its situation or state of being on others.
As you pay attention to these feelings, behaviors, and reactions in your daily life, you can start detaching yourself from those parts. You begin to understand that they were created at some point to protect you and to “deal” with the world around you.
There are much deeper layers to discover in you. This is just a starter, and something to get you closer to who you really are by letting go of parts that no longer serve you.