“Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the Truth. Have Holy curiosity. Make your life worth living” – Albert Einstein
Solitude does not always mean wasting time alone watching TV, or surfing Internet for hours. It can also be a feeling of being connected with yourself, nature, God or engaging in any creative activity that you love for example painting, composing songs or writing poems or dancing.
The day I had an ugly break-up, I lay alone on my bed that night and was crushed to realize that this whole bed now belongs to me alone. I can now sleep in the middle of it rather than ‘on my side’. I don’t need two blankets now. That feeling of loneliness can eat into your soul.
A friend was fired from his job few years back. Next morning he got up at 6.00 AM, like any other day, and realizes he does not have to. He can remain on bed and watch his kids and wife getting ready for the day.
He imagined his boss was calling him to come back, as he is the only one who knows the work inside out. Of course, that call never came. Alone whole day he watched TV and ate chips.
Maybe you hate being lonely. But this loneliness can be a blessing in disguise. Transform it into thoughtful ‘Solitude’, that way you not only heal yourself rapidly but you maintain your happiness and edge.
I will give you 35 reasons why your forced lonely time is a blessing and I can promise you will love your situation:
1) Solitude helps to give you new perspective on difficult situation. It allows you to look at problems from different angles and suggest solutions to them. The inspiration you draw can be life-changing.
2) It boosts creativity. Some of the most creative ideas are captured in solitude and polished by brain storming. Like music composers and artists prefer closed rooms rather than noisy streets to create.
3) It helps you to calm down and cools your nerves.
4) It can be a mindfulness activity when you are present in the moment. It gives you resilience to overcome hard times.
5) Solitude is the best time to connect with your inner self, discover yourself and grow more peaceful.
6) Helps you overcome recent break-up or divorce. You are forced to be your best mate and you discover something about yourself you thought you never had.
7) Breakthrough ideas in business or work are often discovered by brooding in solitude.
8) You connect with nature, trees, mountains, ocean, earth, birds, and clouds when you are alone. And it is the best feeling you can have!
9) It grows your attention span as there are no distractions and you are doing what you like in the moment.
10) Solitude helps you make better decisions with a cool and calm mind. Major decisions are made when you are clear about what you want. And when you see that clearly, you can express it clearly to others.
For example, should you break away from abusive relationship or not? Think about what is stopping you from doing so, is it security or is it just because you hate being single?
11) You grow your self-love in solitude and your self-confidence and self-worth increases exponentially.
12) You get time for your hobbies that you always wanted to follow passionately.
If you love writing poems try writing few lines. If you love painting, grab a pen or pencil and draw something beautiful anywhere — even on napkins. If you like singing, compose a song for your school and send it to all old school buddies. I am sure you will feel lighter.
13) Failures are heart-breaking. In solitude you accept your pain point and gain the bigger picture.
14) Connect and grow your relationship with your higher self. It gives you a ray hope no matter how dark the night has fallen.
15) Stand in front of mirror and pump your fist this will give you never-ending source of fire inside.
16) Spending some time alone can help you have a wonderful marriage. Many people are so caught-up trying to ‘have it all’ that they forget to give time to themselves and to their marriages.
When you appreciate and feel gratitude for your partner in solitude, you appreciate her or him in public, and then your relationship grows stronger.
17) You are more open to face coming difficult phases. Like when everybody is stressed in office due to “restructuring” you can stay calm as you know that you will be fine.
18) You open yourself to change and adaptation. Whenever you are forced to confront changed circumstances you are flexible enough when you thought about it and accept it in solitude. Nobody will motivate you to adapt except you.
19) You develop the attitude and inner confidence to change status-quo. If you do not like the current situations, solitude gives you a way to change it.
20) Solitude can make you realize your problematic patterns in life. For example: few failed marriages and string of disastrous relationships may give you conclusion that maybe you are a bad ‘picker’. You pick wrong people from wrong places. And you must consciously pick better.
21) You feel more comfortable in your skin. It’s the time when we can be ourselves – no TV or Boss to make you feel less of you.
22) We understand our real depth in solitude. We discover our beautiful thoughts inside us, then nurture them, bring them out in some creative way for the world.
You realize you have lot of ‘room’ within you for lot of good work and thoughts.
23) It breaks monotonous ‘busyness’ and gives you a way to lead meaningful life, the way you always wanted it to be.
24) You socialize better as you are able to empathize better and laugh louder with friends.
30) You create a sense of ‘peace’ — it is like a new eye-sight. You notice new things around you. You become more observant.
31) You avoid things that were compulsions earlier. You grow a self-awareness which allows you to witness and ignore your ‘monkey mind’ or the unstoppable train of thoughts and habits that we have.
32) You grow a sense of intuition. This is that strong gut feeling which is mostly correct.
33) Freedom from seeking constant approval from others. When you enjoy your own company, you feel the real freedom.
34) Solitude keeps your thoughts organized and you get clear thought patterns.
35) You grow a feeling of certainty in life and you know you will be fine no matter what.
So I guess you are now more convinced than ever to spend some time in solitude!
As for my story, I am now happily married and we have a great son with us. And that friend who was fired — he started an advertisement business and is more happy now than he was earlier.
Think about best ways that you have spend your time in solitude and convey them in comments below!
P.S. Do you want to upgrade your life and the way you experience the world?
The way we think about the world affects our reality — for good or for bad. Vishen Lakhiani’s transformational course, Consciousness Engineering, allows you to challenge old ways of thinking and become comfortable in your own skin.