You try endlessly to radiate positive energy and create a small world of joy for yourself and those around you. But as much as you’re an advocate for these jovial actions, you sometimes find yourself fall back into a gloomy attitude that is caused by those who have hurt you.

It destroys you to remember these times, but without addressing it, it will continue to sit in the back of your head just lurking there. You need ways to establish your happiness again, happiness that is unconditional more constantly.

1. Allow Yourself to be Consumed by Sorrow

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” – Charles Dickens

The feeling of never being loved like that again, the fear of never being free from it and never becoming who you were will only consume you, which is why sorrow is a difficult state to be in. Sorrow is painful, but harnessing the emotion of sorrow justifies the love that once was.

The shadow of sorrow is love, and love can give birth to hope. Hope is what ensures healing, and healing is your positive energy.

2. Rekindle Your Lost Connection

You’re torn, mainly because the friendship or connection you had with this person who hurt you, and now it is all gone. But your connection with this person doesn’t have to be lost forever. Nothing is set in stone.

It might be hard to spark what you once had, but a sense of gratitude can be reached if you reach out to this person. Sometimes that’s all it takes to rekindle the lost connection. They might be too afraid to try.

3. Learn from Pain

Shifting negative energy from the pain which those have caused is better spent on learning from it. There’s always a lesson to be taught, and learning from the situation can guide you to a better path in the future, if your happiness is ever compromised again.

4. Build Acceptance

Acceptance is the last stage of the 4 stages of grief (denial, anger, depression, acceptance). Accepting what has happened requires rational thinking. This type of mindset will allow you to focus on other aspects of your life, rather than dwelling on the past.

5. Build Resilience (Triumph Through Rejection)

Triumph through adversities and painful moments. Your resiliency will help you ride the waves of life. It will also help you grasp the hard times that you experience, but overcome those situations without damaging your happiness and positive energy.

Below are some ways to help you become more resilient:

– Build positive beliefs in yourself.
– Strengthen your social network.
– Find a sense of purpose in your life.

6. Be Grateful You’re Still Alive

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.” – Unknown

Close your eyes, and take a couple of minutes to think of the people and things you’re grateful for. Your energy will drift to a greater place; your life and the surroundings compliment the reasons why you should be grateful that you’re still alive. The gift of life is special; be grateful that you made it to your next breath. Each breath that gets you to the next is a reason to build your positive energy.

7. Never Hold a Grudge

Metaphorically speaking, a grudge is equivalent to you drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die. You drag your emotional state down, which includes anger, hurt and resentment; this also supplements negative energy and affects those around you. But the power that forgiveness has is special.

When you remove a grudge, the weight of negative energy is removed, allowing you to feel lighter and freer.

8. Know Who is at Fault, and Why

Assess the situation when this person hurt you. If it was your fault, ask to be forgiven, if it was theirs, forgive. Assess, rebalance, release negatively and accept positivity.  This cleanse helps justify the accepted value of your life and purpose.

9. Only You Have Control of Your Actions

It’s difficult sometimes to calibrate and control your own emotions and feelings. But even more so, is trying to control others (especially those who’ve caused pain and agony). Know that you can guide them, inspire them, and maybe console them. If you cannot, that is fine. Appreciate the effort and change your positive
energy elsewhere.

10. Pray for Them

Is praying for those who’ve hurt you is difficult to do? Yes, absolutely. But it is also an act of humility. This does well with your soul.

The demon of revenge is strong and deceitful and wants to distract us from loving our enemies.  This act of humility goes a long way to conquer negative energy, an embodiment of positive outcomes. Be sympathetic and understand that they too also need love.

11. Create a Soft Boundary

Create a healthy boundary that empowers positive energy. Without boundaries you are leaving the door to your home unlocked; anyone, including unwelcome guests, can enter at will. But conversely, if you have a strict boundary, you can also become isolated. Understand the importance in setting these limits. You protect your self-esteem, maintain self-respect, and enjoy wanted healthy relationships.

12. Forgive Yourself First

Just as difficult as it could be to forgive those who destroy our happiness, find the energy to forgive yourself.  Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, but you still blame yourself. You might also contemplate on whether or not you had influences with the unfortunate outcome. Forgiveness starts from within, inside your heart.

13. Forgive Them

Do not forgive for them, but for yourself. Don’t live with that weight on your shoulders. They are only human; put yourself in their position, and understand how much gratitude you would have if the same were done for you.

We are all human beings, and living with guilt can be extremely difficult for that person who might have made the mistake of hurting you.

14. Remember the Good Memories

It’s easy to dwell on the bad memories with this person. The most vivid memories you might have with this person might certainly be negative, being that it was the last memories you have with them. But think back on the good memories you had with them and what feelings caused those pleasurable moments, and use that to increase your positivity.

15. Don’t Take it too Personally

Know that you have the luxury of abundance and not the lack of it. When a friend hurts us, it feels like something is taken away and it is because there is scarcity when friendships are involved. There are millions and billions of people in this world; your options aren’t limited. You never know what your next connection, love, or friendship could be. Love is everywhere.

16. You’ll Always Have Tomorrow

Tomorrow will bring in new adventures, new experiences, and new fulfillment. Knowing that life is a spontaneous, joyful ride will help you get through those moments. The gift of tomorrow is your anchor to happiness.

17. Getting Hurt is Natural

Your emotional spectrum is a dynamic condition of wholeness and balance. Life comes with its ups and downs. Accept the fact that you were hurt, but do not let it be a damaging influence in your life.

18. You Tried Your Best

Sometimes it falls out of your control. And that is ok. Knowing that you put in 100% of the effort in your fallout with the person is enough to come to terms with.

19. Decode the Moral

There’s a climax to every story written, and with each story, there is also a moral that can be acquired. Your life experiences are similar. Allow yourself to observe the situation from a third person perspective and reevaluate your dilemma – it might not register instantly, but acknowledge people’s intent, yours and theirs.

20. Reconnect with the Old ‘You’

It’s not easy to release a painful identity, especially if you’ve carried it around with you for a long time. It helps to remember who you were before that experience or to consider who you might have become if it hadn’t have happened. If you want to be peaceful and happy, start by identifying what that looks like. This exercise will remind you both how you want to be and how you don’t want to be.

21. Find Humor in the Situation

Scientifically, we know that laughter is a powerful force. When we laugh, our bodies release endorphins and dopamine, nature’s feel-good chemicals. This helps us cope with stress, find hope, and see problems in new ways. Change your perspective. A gloomy attitude will only hold you back, but a joyful attitude and approach will push you quickly ahead.

22. Let Go Completely

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – Unknown

You have to consider the possibility that there’s a greater sense of happiness in completely releasing your problem. That you’d feel better than you could ever imagine if you’d stop letting your pain define you. You can have a sad story in your past without building your present around it.

23. Don’t Take Your Thoughts Too Seriously

The voice inside your head is repetitive, loud, habitual, vibrant, and sometimes involuntary. Take the seat as a spectator, and see your thoughts without listening to them. When you see it as noise, you no longer have to take it seriously, or as the truth.

24. Remove Yourself Completely

Turn around and remove yourself from the negative frequencies that prohibit positive energy from entering your life. It is usually best for you to walk away from the person who has disrupted your positive energy. Leaving it all behind will make you realize all of the stress and anxiety that has been removed from your life. Your health and well being comes first and should be a priority.

25. Reciprocate the Energy and Shower Others with it

Use the negative energy you received from the pain and hurt others have given you, and provide positive energy and love to the next person. Just because you’ve been hurt does not mean the next person has to suffer because of it. Qualities like compassion, kindness, care, and warmheartedness will spread throughout the world with positive energy from you.

Look for answers to help you become One with yourself. Put yourself back in a place where you are content, and see the pain from those who have hurt you as blessings.

You are special, you are exceptional, and you will give back to everyone else with the positive energy you’ve gained.


Jesse helps you become a better version of yourself by simplifying your health and fitness goals using science-backed data. Check out his free ebook, The Minimalist Guide to Fitness Hacks .