Why do you do what you do? What motivates you to be successful, have relationships, go to work, take up hobbies, spend time with friends or go on holiday? What is it that you are really looking for at the deepest level? Take a brief moment to reflect on this.
The answer given by at least 90 per cent of the people I ask is happiness. As William James, the father of modern day psychology said, ‘how to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness, is in fact for most men at all times the secret motive of all they do’.
Quite simply happiness not only feels good, but it’s good for your health, your relationships, your work and our society. Happy people have more fulfilling lives, experience a deeper sense of connection to others and to nature, are more likely to contribute to the well-being of others and they consistently perform at higher levels than those who aren’t happy. Happiness in a nutshell provides us with the fuel to thrive and flourish as human beings. Society, business, families, children and our planet need happy people.
True Happiness describes a deep sense of well-being, inner peace and vitality that is with you most of the time in most circumstances. Unlike ‘normal happiness’ which is transient and dependant on ‘getting what we want’, true happiness is independent of our life circumstance, it’s their irregardless of our life situation. Here are the first of my top tips for moving you in the direction of True Happiness!
One of the most common causes of unhappiness is living in your head and taking seriously the ‘stories’ that your head creates. Most of what we think isn’t true and had no bearing on reality. One of the quickest ways to experience True Happiness is to shift from being identified with our thoughts to being the awareness of our thoughts. A simple and quick way to disengage any stressful story that your head is making up is to notice what the stressful thought is, for example ‘there’s no way I can get this done in time’– then say that stressful thought out loud (or silently in your head) very slowly – with a few seconds gap in between each word. Breathe slowly throughout and repeat 2 to 3 times, noticing as you do so how a sense of inner spaciousness, well-being and balance starts to open up inside of you. This is the experience of what I call the true Self, the source of true happiness! If you practice this often throughout the day for three days and I am almost certain you will experience a profound shift in the way you feel. You can also use this technique for freeing yourself from any self-limiting beliefs that you have.
One of the keys to true happiness is to shift from a focus on feeling good to getting good at feeling. As you learn how to welcome all emotions equally – including anger, sadness and fear, an extraordinary and surprising thing happens – you start to feel at peace and well-being despite what you are feeling. So next time you have a comfortable emotion rather than trying to sedate or control it try this – locate where the emotion is strongest in your body. Now imagine its just simply stuck energy wanting to flow, say to it silently ‘soften and flow’ and get a sense of where it wants to exit your body. Be patient, give it plenty of space and watch how it starts to flow out of your body. Keep repeating until all of the emotional charge has gone. Notice how you feel so much more energized and how the issue about which you were feeling those emotions has positively shifted.
When we experience gratitude, we shift from what’s wrong and what’s missing to what’s right and what’s present. By making gratitude the foundation of your life and my experience is that you will start to see significant improvements in the way your life works out and how you feel. Gratitude changes everything. Try it now and at anytime throughout the day. Think about two things you are grateful for and then two things you appreciate about yourself. Allow yourself to feel and experience the gratitude for at least 30 seconds and notice how much better you feel.
Ignore the stories, get a reality check, feel the feelings and say thank you. Sounds simple. But not necessarily easy, eh? Which of these 4 feel-good must-dos have you mastered? Which are you learning about now? Leave us a comment and let us know.
P.S. Do you have limiting beliefs that are holding you back from becoming your best self?
The way we think about the world affects our experience in it — for good or for bad. Vishen Lakhiani’s transformational course, allows you to challenge any limiting beliefs you may hold. Try it out and live without limits today!
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I have been living in Attitude Gratitude for a few years now and my whole life has shifted!! I attract the things I need in my life now to help me get closer to my goals. I am much happier than I have ever been! Instead of wanting things I don't have and feeling envious and dreaming all the time, I am working towards achieving my dreams! I know they will happen now!
Thought I°d heard/read everything, but a couple of these were new to me...and, hey whadya know, they work! Thanks.
someone ask me today what was my secret for always being happy and my response was being grateful for the present of the present and waking up everyday in awe at the endless possibilities that the present presents. Yes being grateful for what is good and working in your life (no matter ow little) and accepting reality are sure recipes for happiness :-) :-)
Very good advise for people- well-done!
I learnt these already through intuition; however if someone were to have told me first of all about these, then things could have been alot easier so it is great to have them ready for the people who are ready to receive.
are we supposed to keep repeating the NEGATIVE thoughts to change the monkey mind? I thought we to change the negative to a positive.. Also if we keep repeating the stressful thoughts over and over, I think it would further enhance our "stinkin thinkin" Would you respond to this.....