Let’s face it. Breaking up sucks. Whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, no matter how you slice it, it’s never easy. Learning how to find yourself again and be happy after a breakup can be even harder.
This person was an integral part of your life for a long time, and now they’re gone. You’re on your own now, reinventing yourself and your life. So how do you move on? How can you possibly move forward without this person when that’s all you’ve ever known for so long?
Let’s not forget how much of ourselves we’ve actually lost in this relationship. We all do it. We give up certain parts of our persona and replace them with other pieces to form this perfect puzzle with our partner. Now it’s time to take the puzzle apart and put it back together again, the way it should be — the proper and whole picture of you.
Before we get into the reinventing part of the blog, let’s talk about why we have to do this in the first place. Many of us want to find love and a relationship so desperately that we sacrifice too many things, sometimes even our values, to satisfy our partner.
We know it’s wrong, yet nonetheless, we still do it sometimes. When you give up parts of yourself, your true self, just to have companionship, you cannot expect it to end well.
We often sacrifice who we are for love. That’s false love. Worse yet, this person loves who they think you are, not who you really are.
So now that you’re out of that relationship and back to being single again, what do you need to do to find yourself again and learn how to love the real you?
Finding yourself again and learning how to be on your own after spending most of your time with your partner for some years or months is never easy.
You have to remember it’s all about you now. Start a relationship with yourself first, and then when you feel like you’ve gotten over your failed relationship, you can revisit the idea of finding your ideal partner!
Make a list of all the things you’ve missed doing that used to bring you joy and do them. Find the you before them.
Take yourself out on a date! Have a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee place, or take a nice walk in the park. Feel like going to the movies? Do that too! Even better – bring your friends with you and have a fantastic night out.
Fall in love with yourself and your life again. Buy yourself flowers or a new perfume! Got some spare cash lying around? Take a trip, alone or with your friends!
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Write a letter to your partner and let out all those emotions you’ve been holding in for so long! Full steam, no holding back. Write until your hand cramps, and you’ve finally gotten everything out of your system.
Once you’re done, go outside, get a match, and light up the letter. While it burns, think about all the emotional burden you’re getting rid of and let it flow right through you before it eventually leaves your mind.
We’ve all been there. After a breakup, we start obsessing with why the relationship ended and why this had to happen to us.
If you need a distraction, try doing something to occupy your time with. Start volunteering at an animal shelter so you can be surrounded by animals or take up a new hobby or a sport.
Devoting your time to a good cause or to improving yourself will go a long way into helping you get over your breakup faster.
Is there a course you’ve always wanted to take or a self-help guide you’ve had your eye on? Devour books, blogs (like this one!), and anything else you can get your hands on to start learning and growing!
You saw that one coming, didn’t you? Don’t like writing? Start slow then. Even a one-page entry in a notebook makes a huge difference.
Journaling after a breakup can be very therapeutic, so don’t hesitate to give it a try.
Write about all the things you are grateful for or about how awesome you are. Write about how exciting your new life without your ex is. When you’re done, read it back and feel your heart explode! Do this daily and watch your life slowly change.
Although you might feel like you’re never going to get over this person, chances are someone even better is waiting for you on the horizon. It’s time for you to take care of yourself, find out who you truly are, fall in love with yourself, and embrace the new and improved YOU!
It won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible if you give it your best!