Author

Banu Sekendur

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I had arrived that point. The point where all your experiences come together and paint you a picture that you just cannot ignore. I was there. I had been in many short and long-term relationships (count an 8-year marriage in). I had been burned and learned some valuable lessons. I understood my own wounded places and what to do when they get triggered – though maybe did not have full control over my projections and…

I was an ugly duckling growing up. Or so I believed. I compared myself to other girls and always fell short. This continued into my adulthood. Someone always had prettier hair, another woman had  the perfect breasts or the long legs that I didn’t have. Then there are Charlize Therons, Angelina Jolies and Megan Foxes of the world that added salt to my wound. It felt like torture. After college, I got curious about how…

We all do this. We compare our insides to other people’s outsides. When we get sucked into it and believe the idea that we are not doing enough or aren’t this and that enough, we lose our power. We forget who we are as a whole person. We focus on where we are falling short and compare that to other people’s strengths. We may inevitably find ourselves in a battle between our preferred self -that is…

I used to think that I had “issues” with romantic relationships. No matter how hard I worked on myself and the relationship, it somehow did not work out. When I looked at how I do relationships closely, I was able I identify certain patterns that showed up as the core way I function. I may not have a full picture of all my set of behaviors and patterns, but recognizing a few big themes surely…