Loving What Is by Byron Katie“The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.” – Byron Katie, Loving What Is

In a nutshell, the above quote basically sums up today’s book in the challenge. If you want to argue with what is, you will suffer. Period. In fact as Byron Katie says, “If you want reality to be different than what it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.”

So the question of course is, “How can we get to a point where we actually love what is”?

In today’s challenge, we’ll take a quick look at the big ideas behind Byron Katie’s profound book, Loving What Is, and by the end, you’ll have a deeper sense of peace and perspective that you can apply to your life immediately.

And as always, we’d love to hear what your biggest “aha!” moment from today’s book is, and how you’re going to implement its wisdom into your life. So just drop as a comment below, and let the discussions role!

Interested in getting your hands on Brian’s entire Philosophers Notes (which includes his notes from nearly 200 of the most influential books of all-time)? Click here to find out how, and to take advantage of our special offer.

FinerMinds Team

FinerMinds Team

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70 Comments

  • TedHowardKK says:

    Hi Team

    The opening quote is powerful, and in my understanding – arguing with it is the cause of most disease and distress (and stress) in human existence "The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want."

    Rule #1 is great – the basis of all science, all self realisation – "I realized that it’s insane to oppose it. When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time."

    "Whose Business Are You In?" – I don't do "God" and it is a powerful question. In my understanding we are all potentially creative entities. In my understanding the idea of God comes from abstracting to a limiting case our own creativity. So for me, I respect the creativity and responsibility of all other people, and cultivate my own capabilities. Earthquakes and wars may, with sufficient technology and understanding, come under our control, and right now they are not. That I can accept.

    I love the idea of stressful experiences being "compassionate Alarm Clocks" – "WAKE UP TED!"

    I love the notion of "Lint on a Projector’s Lens", yet I think I use a different perspective from most – for me, God is one of the many pieces of "cultural lint" loaded into our projector lenses – it takes a lot of work to clear it.

    For me – there is no absolute truth, only working probabilities. Everything, except my own existence, is up for question.
    The four questions are perhaps a useful technique at gaining perspective.

    "Believing Lies" and the lie of "should" – great stuff.

    If I believed in God, this would be a great prayer "If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.”"

    There is certainly a lot of truth in the insanity thing, and it's not the whole truth.
    The actions of others certainly can have impacts on us. If those others are driven by belief structures that do not contain respect for the person or property of another, they can indeed be a "problem".

    Carpenters levels are useful for building static structures. If one is interested in movement, one must become familiar with the many mechanisms of creating instability to bring movement, then the many methods of guidance, and perhaps, there is no static stable state.
    Spirit levels aren't a solution to all problems.

    I don't necessarily agree with the assertion that "We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do." There is always infinite choice, infinite possibility, and only ever the present to experience and choose. We are such dysphasic entities – isolated and separated in time and space. We have this persistent illusion of being present in physical reality, but actually, we are almost always the best part of second behind it, but we have predictive models that, for the most part, do the phase correction for us.

    I can certainly agree that "Nothing ever goes wrong in life." And for me this is because the very notions of right and wrong are but simplistic distinctions that children need to make on their path to understanding infinite possibility.

    Thanks Brian and Vishen – another great note.

    • MarkHoover says:

      Hi Ted. Great summary…as per usual. I like to take the "projector" term figuratively, as in "projecting oneself". In that manner I see myself projecting my feelings or thoughts onto a screen, an event or another person. Then I realize that the reason I don't like what I see is because that dis-ease is inside of ME. Have a kewl weekend!

      • TedHowardKK says:

        Hi Mark
        I use the figurative also, and there are a couple of senses.
        I agree with you, that if I am upset, it is almost certainly me projecting some of my "stuff" onto someone else – and it is up to me to deal with it, not them.
        There is another sense, in which I cannot "know" what anyone else thinks or feels, all I can do is guess, and substitute something from my experience, and "project" it into my model of them (within my model of reality – which most of us treat as if it is reality itself).

        As to kool weekend, it is going well. Just got home (7pm here in NZ) from a 10 hour tramp up the conway to a place we call needles eye, a great gorge. Several places where we had to swim in the creek, and a couple where we had to climb waterfalls. Very pretty, as well as quite along trek up the riverbed to the start of the gorge (about 3 hours each way). A great day. Golf tomorrow.

      • TedHowardKK says:

        Hi Mark
        Woke up early this morning, and was thinking about that idea of projection.

        To me, there is a sense in which we do not deal with reality, rather at best we get to deal with a model of reality that our brain produces for our awareness. In a sense, this model is a projection; and the projection is modulated through all the beliefs and distinctions that we have have (many of which, at least early in life, we unconsciously absorb from "culture").

        If is only with a great deal of study, and a great many distinctions, that we get to form a distinction about the "model" "projection" and start to get a feeling for what the "reality" that lies beyond the "model" might actually be like (as distinct from the impressions that the model feeds us as "truths").

        Beautiful day dawning here in Kaikoura, cloudless skies, birds singing, gentle shushing of a 0.5m swell sloshing up and down the beach below.

    • Aderet says:

      Ted, this comment is a great summary: "There is no absolute truth, only working probabilities. Everything, except my own existence, is up for question." In the end the only thing we really have is ourselves, so what do we make of ourselves with the working possibilities life is full of? I kept looking beyond myself for the answers when now I see I am my answer; the answer to why I exist and what I do with that existance is in me. Everything else in life is a medium for me to work in as I make my answer happen.

      Thank you for sharing such a profound thought – Aderet

      • TedHoward says:

        Thanks Aderet
        For me, it is as much about the questions as the answers, and it is a fairly even split between looking inside and looking outside. For me a big part has been seeing that some questions simply don't make sense – they are a bit like the question "have you stopped beating your grandmother yet" – in that there are assumptions hidden within them that are simply not valid in the domain.
        For me it is a big yes to trusting one's own deepest intuitions, and at the same time, making the effort to test them in reality – with really well designed tests.

        So yes – with infinite questions to choose from, there is plenty of room for us to choose our own paths without conflicting with or following anyone else.

  • Maxine says:

    Last night I finished reading “Love” by Leo Buscaglia, and came across this paragraph, right at the end of the book.

    “Father William Du Bay stated it far better than I, when he said, “The most human thing we have to do in life is to learn to speak our honest convictions and feelings and live with the consequences. This is the first requirement of love, and it makes us vulnerable to other people who may ridicule us, but our vulnerability is the only thing we can give to other people”.

    This struck a chord with me, and I thought it might with some of you.
    Maxine

    • Jayne says:

      That's brilliant Maxine and thanks for sharing. This week I spoke my honest convictions and feelings in these comments and I did feel exposed, vulnerable and open to ridicule. I went ahead and did it away and the connection I felt to those who replied was incredible.

      Sometimes I want to speak my honest convictions to someone but don't because I don't like confrontation or upsetting other people. If speaking our honest convictions and feelings serves a higher purpose for both parties I think that's a good thing. Sadly, many people are brutally honest without any thought for the other person/people and how they might feel as a consequence.

      I hope you have a fantastic weekend Maxine!

    • TODD GABEL says:

      Along those same lines, Marianne Williamson said it best in her famous quote:

      Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

      Great stuff!

    • Peter :) says:

      Thanks Maxine! The quote really added some depth to today's PhilosophersNote! ….
      “the first requirement of love” ….. Cool! Have a great weekend! :)

  • MaxineH says:

    Last night I finished reading "Love" by Leo Buscaglia, and came across this paragraph, right at the end of the book.

    "Father William Du Bay stated it far better than I, when he said, "The most human thing we have to do in life is to learn to speak our honest convictions and feelings and live with the consequences. This is the first requirement of love, and it makes us vulnerable to other people who may ridicule us, but our vulnerability is the only thing we can give to other people".

    This struck a chord with me, and I thought it might with some of you.
    Maxine

    • Jayne says:

      That's brilliant Maxine and thanks for sharing. This week I spoke my honest convictions and feelings in these comments and I did feel exposed, vulnerable and open to ridicule. I went ahead and did it away and the connection I felt to those who replied was incredible.

      Sometimes I want to speak my honest convictions to someone but don't because I don't like confrontation or upsetting other people. If speaking our honest convictions and feelings serves a higher purpose for both parties I think that's a good thing. Sadly, many people are brutally honest without any thought for the other person/people and how they might feel as a consequence.

      I hope you have a fantastic weekend Maxine!

    • Laura says:

      Maxine,

      I so understand this comment. Thank you for sharing it. I have been one that prominently shows my business books in my library, and tucks books like these in a corner, so they are harder to see. Not sure how my more conservative friends will react to my reading and believing them. Just recently have I been more open about who I am, and what I truly believe in. I must say I am starting to feel more comfortable in and accepting of my own skin. An added bonus, people seem to be more comfortable around me for being more vulnerable.

      Thanks again for the timely quote.
      Laura

    • Tom Carroll says:

      Thanks, Maxine. That's a lovely quote. As Jayne said in her reply, it's an excellent description of what you two give in the forum. Thank you!

    • TODD GABEL says:

      Along those same lines, Marianne Williamson said it best in her famous quote:

      Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won?t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It?s not just in some of us; it?s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

      Great stuff!

    • Peter :) says:

      Thanks Maxine! The quote really added some depth to today's PhilosophersNote! ….
      "the first requirement of love" ….. Cool! Have a great weekend! :)

    • MarkHoover says:

      That's really great, Maxine! I have never seen the issue with vulnerability. Sure, we can get hurt, but if we build a wall to prevent that we don't get to feel the good stuff either. A wall is a wall. I would never have experienced the love and joy I have in my life had I armed myself against intrusions after the first hurt. It's much better to get right back out there and be trusting, but not careless. Experience helps us to determine where that point is, like the bubble in a level.

    • TedHowardKK says:

      Great quote Maxine
      Sharing our deepest truth, being willing to open our most cherished notion to the abuse and ridicule of others, is indeed the greatest gift we can give anyone; and is our ultimate vulnerability.

  • Jayne says:

    Great book, great note! The 'biggies' for me today are:

    "Don't argue with reality" – this is one of the key learnings that I've taken out of the PN Challenge and it's so powerful. I have started to accept things the way they are 'in the moment' in the knowledge that I have the power to change my reality if what I'm currently experiencing is not what I want. As Katie says: “The pain shows you what’s left to investigate.” WOW, amazing stuff!

    "Too often we let our stressful feelings get us MORE stressed" – oh yes I'm guilty of this one! I'm running a course in a couple of weeks for a team who gave me a really hard time last time I worked with them. So the stress of working wth them again has been getting me more stressed about working with them again. However, I've reframed this situation as an opportunity to learn and grow and to serve them in their quest to learn and grow as a team. Bring it on!

    Inquiry – love this concept and so helpful to reframe limiting thoughts into empowering ones.

  • Jayne says:

    “I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.” This is now my mantra and it's so working for me! I've been much less reactive and calmer as a result.

    Carpenters Level – I'm a huge fan of metaphors because they are so powerful and this is a good one! It links with the concept of the inner thermostat. Earlier I becamse very aware of when my bubble began to slide in the 'wrong' direction and it made me laugh out loud! Talk about a state change!!

    "Invest in yourself" – if this community was a stock exchange, our stocks and shares would be at an all-time high as we busily mine our inner gold!

    "Doing dishes" – Just do the next thing your inner voice is guiding you to do! Yes AND (!)…..lead us not into temptation…of being distracted! There's a distinction between 'inner voice' and intuition so I do the next thing my intuition is guiding me to do.

    Happy weekend everyone!

    • MarkHoover says:

      Howdy, Jayne! I believe "I am totally independent…" is the first Post-it I made for these Notes. I'm making them with buzz words and phrases from many of the Notes. At the end I may have enough to paper the walls in a room. After a while they all fit together, like a Philosopher's Mosaic. It is interesting to see the patterns that develop. Maybe it would be a good mind-mapping project.

      I'm with you on the PNTribe stock exchange. I believe we have a motherlode here! Have a great weekend!

  • Laura says:

    Chris2110,

    If your still out there, please post again. We miss your insight.

    Thanks,
    Laura

  • Tom Carroll says:

    LEARNINGS
    Good morning, all you all! I’m really digging Byron Katie’s way with metaphor and vivid, simple description. What a gift she has!

    I also appreciate the brain friendliness of four points. In fact, I made a special card with the Four Agreements on one side and the Work Inquiry questions on the back. This is now the bookmark in my physical calendar.

    A friend of mine had a very wise father who was a wonderful Rogerian therapist. As a young man, whenever my friend was locked in a losing battle with reality, his father would lovingly say, “Son, I know life can seem really choice-less at times AND someday you won't have to experience this level of frustration when you choose to love to do the things you know you have to do.” That must have caused smoke to come out of his ears. Hey, he's remembered it for over 50 years!

    In addition to being a fun band name, “compassionate alarm clocks” is a great metaphor for stressful feelings. I’m going to remember that one.

    The other memory this note triggered was Ken Keyes’ little phrase that “… even though things aren’t going as I expect them to, I’m not going to let that ruin my whole day.” (quoted from my slippery memory)

    Here’s another quote I like from Keyes: “Happiness is experienced when your life gives you what you are willing to accept.” These ideas seem to dovetail really nicely with Byron Katie's work.

    Finally, I really dug Byron Katie's question: “Whose business is this?” This is a nice reminder!

    EXERCISE
    I want to get some practice with the inquiry questions. Found this funny and touching video demo of Byron Katie using the inquiry questions/Work with a seminar participant (10 min) and then doing a nice debrief at the end that highlights the major points covered in today’s note. ” target=”_blank”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHKajRpDn4Y

    Now that I’ve seen the Work demoed a couple of times, thank goodness I’ve got a compassionate alarm clock going off right now so I can get some real practice today and over the weekend.

    Have a great day, all! ~ Tom

  • Tom Carroll says:

    LEARNINGS
    Good morning, all you all! I’m really digging Byron Katie’s way with metaphor and vivid, simple description. What a gift she has!

    I also appreciate the brain friendliness of four points. In fact, I made a special card with the Four Agreements on one side and the Work Inquiry questions on the back. This is now the bookmark in my physical calendar.

    A friend of mine had a very wise father who was a wonderful Rogerian therapist. As a young man, whenever my friend was locked in a losing battle with reality, his father would lovingly say, “Son, I know life can seem really choice-less at times AND someday you won't have to experience this level of frustration when you choose to love to do the things you know you have to do.” That must have caused smoke to come out of his ears. Hey, he's remembered it for over 50 years!

    In addition to being a fun band name, “compassionate alarm clocks” is a great metaphor for stressful feelings. I’m going to remember that one.

    The other memory this note triggered was Ken Keyes’ little phrase that “… even though things aren’t going as I expect them to, I’m not going to let that ruin my whole day.” (quoted from my slippery memory)

    Here’s another quote I like from Keyes: “Happiness is experienced when your life gives you what you are willing to accept.” These ideas seem to dovetail really nicely with Katie Byron’s work.

    Finally, I really dug Byron Katie's question: “Whose business is this?” This is a nice reminder!

    EXERCISE
    I want to get some practice with the inquiry questions. Found this funny and touching video demo of Byron Katie using the inquiry questions/Work with a seminar participant (10 min) and then doing a nice debrief at the end that highlights the major points covered in today’s note. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHKajRpDn4Y

    Now that I’ve seen the Work demoed a couple of times, thank goodness I’ve got a compassionate alarm clock going off right now so I can get some real practice today and over the weekend.

    Have a great day, all! ~ Tom

    • MarkHoover says:

      Hiya Tom. I see you remember the Strawberry Alarm Clock from 1967 as well. I saw them play in Rochester NY when in college there. It IS a great phrase, and something well worth remembering when stress does its number on a person. I have to stop, listen to the alarm, and wonder…who's doing the damage here? I also caught the Four Agreements parallel and made a note of it. Now I'll watch the link. Thanks for that, dude!

  • Laura says:

    For additional information about working the work, go to http://www.thework.com/thework.asp#resources. Look on the left had side half way down, you will see additional things you can download for free.

    Have a great weekend.
    Laura

  • Ron says:

    Hi Brian, I printed out my 50 notes list and then continued to print out your notes on each,And against each day listed a date starting at number 1 = 11/01/2010 etc. S according to me today 19th is actually book 40 and due to my work style and not being able to read the notes each day I have tried to catch up and according to me I was 6 books behind having read No 35 Robin Sharma’s The monk who sold his Ferrari. But your note today on book 30 has actually boosted morral a little because I am5 days ahead. I really can not say what has gone wrong having checked the dates over and over I can not arrive at a different answer. So you guys out there keep reading the following books are great and when you come to Ken Wilber can some one help me as my Journal entry on this note was O.M.G What was that all about????. Be Brilliant Ron

    • MarkHoover says:

      Hey Ron! I believe diving into a Wilber discussion could last for weeks here…perhaps some of the posts can help clarify and you can post questions that have you perplexed? Just a thought. Kudos on being ahead of the game, as per your schedule. I have found making it a daily ritual the best fit for me. We're all on our individual paths going up the mountain, same direction, same goal. If you see any of us as you wend your way, wave and give a holler.

    • StephanieE says:

      Hi Ron…here are a couple things that might help…the challenge was not done in the order as they appear when you download the notes…here is where you can find the list for what note will be covered what day of this challenge:
      http://daily.finerminds.com/mind/philosophersnote
      For me, to keep up without having to look for an email, I set one of my internet home pages to this:
      http://daily.finerminds.com/mind/
      By seeing this site everyday, I can click right on the link to the day's Pnote.
      And, Ken Wilber was yesterday's note, which did really stretch my brain, as well. You can find it here:
      http://daily.finerminds.com/mind/ken-wilber/
      Finally, if any of the rest of you all are reading this, this has been a crazy week, so I have not been as involved with PNotes…I have read and listened to them all…I have enjoyed all your comments and wished I had more time to reply or comment myself. I thought I was going to get something in now, but it seemed, after reading all the notes, like Ron needed a little help here, so I will try to come back later today. If I do not make it today, cheers to the tribe for a wonderful weekend!

  • Misterzee says:

    I read this book about a year ago. Then I listened to Katie on CD on the car for two weeks. She has made a huge impact on my life. I can't tell you how many times I've thought about that wise and funny quote. To paraphrase, "When I fight reality, I lose…but only 100% of the time."

    I've been living my life minus the fight so much since that notion landed on me. And my life has taken off. My relationships have been so much more loving. My teaching has improved dramatically. And (in my non-paying job so far) as a playwright, I've never written so much so fast so well. And I'm just smiling for no good reason an awful lot. I recommend you listen to her CDs. Because you'll get to hear Katie's voice. You'll get even than the powerful words and insights she offers. You'll get the emotional component of this true 21st century master. What a woman! And check out her husband's work, Stephen Mitchell. Another master!

  • AMPowers says:

    Every day I feel so blessed to be a part of these notes and this group. This quote from one of the side notes “Self-realization is not complete until it lives in action" is really where I find myself right now. Just knowing this makes the hurdles in my life a lot more easier to accept and manoever. I can see now that I have started taking more action toward my goals the universe is sending me constant mssages that I am headed in the right direction and finally I am starting to enjoy the journey a heck of a lot more than I used to.

    • MarkHoover says:

      Que la vaya bien, AMP! Our journey really begins when we feel the energy drawing us, urging us, forward. Nothing happens until something is set in motion. I am pleased to see that you feel it happening to you. Those are not hurdles, not any more. They are opportunities. Think "positive-negativity"! "You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however." I'm on a Bach roll today. =)

    • Peter :) says:

      Re: "I am starting to enjoy the journey a heck of a lot more than I used to."
      Cool AM! I am starting to feel the same way myself …… Have a great weekend! :)

  • Ron says:

    Hi Brian, I printed out my 50 notes list and then continued to print out your notes on each,And against each day listed a date starting at number 1 = 11/01/2010 etc. S according to me today 19th is actually book 40 and due to my work style and not being able to read the notes each day I have tried to catch up and according to me I was 6 books behind having read No 35 Robin Sharma’s The monk who sold his Ferrari. But your note today on book 30 has actually boosted morral a little because I am5 days ahead. I really can not say what has gone wrong having checked the dates over and over I can not arrive at a different answer. So you guys out there keep reading the following books are great and when you come to Ken Wilber can some one help me as my Journal entry on this note was O.M.G What was that all about????. Be Brilliant Ron

  • AMPowers says:

    I am really interested in "The Work" as she calls it and must deleve deeper into this subject. Right now is the prefect time to do this so I will leave right now to experiment with this conceot this afternnon and get back to you guys today….enjoy :)

  • Peter :) says:

    Hi! I found the following two quotes in the “Loving What Is” PhilosophersNote to be very powerful! The truth behind these quotes is huge ….. “there is always just one thing to do” pretty much eliminates “overwhelm” All our problems or perceived problems come from within ….. Cool! That would mean that all our successes come from within as well ….. I am going to enjoy working on mastering the concepts that Brian so clearly explains in this Note!

    “If I think that someone else is causing my problem, I’m insane.”

    “We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do.”

    Thanks for another great PhilosophersNote Brian! Have a great weekend All! :)

    • MarkHoover says:

      Hi Peter. When I came upon that phrase "there is always just one thing to do", I recalled, from Richard Bach's "Illusions", "Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." That's as simple as it gets. I know I certainly will not die with everything finished! I believe there is a slightly different slant to Katie's use of "just one thing"…more than likely in a linear fashion…but I tend to think less in that manner. I'm working on getting better, though. =)

      • Peter :) says:

        Hi Mark! Nice test! …. lol We are still here … ugh! …. and just when I thought I had everything under "control" ….. lol :)
        Yes ….. It may be linear if we relate the “things we do” to a string of things or a “list.”
        I kind of understood “We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do.” to mean that we always have the resources ….. and if we remain in the present there is really only one thing that can be done during any given moment.
        For me it could be to choose to “show up” or to choose not to “show up”
        I am learning that as long as I am aware of making the “choice” All is well! …. LoL :)

  • MarkHoover says:

    Day 30 Byron Katie19 February 2010

    “Everything happens FOR me, not to me.” What I make of it is up to me. “If it is to be, it is up to me.” I thoroughly understand Katie’s premise of “The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. Too often we never grow out of the Divine Child within and believe that we are the focus of everything that happens around us. The key word here is “around”. Once we take the time to make an inquiry, it is simple. Events we view are just that, events. Since we often project ourselves, seeing in others what is inside of us, the “lint on a projector lens” is most fitting. It is not the screen, not the mirror…it is the person viewing the image…perhaps distorting the image through negative experience.

    • LissyLou0507 says:

      You captured the essence of it, to me, that quote “Everything happens for me, not to me” says it all. Once we can really take this in and breathe it in deeply we will be able to choose our thoughts and are mind will get much clearer, lets wipe of the lint together shall we!

    • LissyLou0507 says:

      You captured the essence of it, to me, that quote "Everything happens for me, not to me" says it all. Once we can really take this in and breathe it in deeply we will be able to choose our thoughts and are mind will get much clearer, lets wipe of the lint together shall we!

  • MarkHoover says:

    What we see in ourselves in relation to events often becomes altered in perspective if we take things personally…a definite abrogation of one of Miguel de Ruiz’s “Four Agreements.” It’s even grammatically wrong. Events foster no DIRECT action, so the direct pronoun “me” is not appropriate. When I take upon myself the onus of occurrences I create a reflexive “MYSELF”. This “reflects” an action I initiate upon the “self”, confining the action between the subject (I) and predicate (myself). Looking at it that way, one must consider, “Is this happening TO me, or am I taking the brunt of it upon MYSELF?” If that is clarified…the perception dies a lonely death and peace reigns upon my sense of well-being. Live long and prosper, PNTribe!

  • AngelaCarney says:

    Interesting ideas and questions to ask yourself. Take-aways include: It is what it is! and You cannot control other people or circumstances, only your responses to them. Investing in my personal stock market is crucial — I do this every day. Thank you in advance for any feedback, but as Chopra says, "I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others." Namaste, PN Tribe!

  • Stacy says:

    Love Byron Katie! I was introduced to Katie's work a couple of year's ago and can honestly say her work transformed my life. Katie's elegant and bare naked truth is hard to argue with and her process, "the work" is really effective. I completely forgot about the the concept of compassionate alarm clocks though, and what a great concept that is, so thanks Brian! That's my big takeaway today- those painful, scary, don't want it to be happening things can be viewed as the gifts that they truly are, wake-up calls!

  • AF Grant says:

    (1)
    I was predisposed to not think very highly of Byron Katie. Bill Harris uses her as an example of what not to be each time I’ve seen him live. As he talks about Dual vs Non Dual and the goal really being to transcend and be both; He says Katie is example of someone who is enlightened yet can’t function in the day-to-day world, she relies on her husband as other enlightened masters rely on their followers to take care of their daily, physical needs. He might not have meant that as a slam against Katie, but that is how it took it.

    So I was pleasantly surprised to find some things in the note that I liked. Especially the three kinds of business and that stress comes form living out of our business. Can’t get much clearer than that.

  • AF Grant says:

    (2)
    Mostly Katie reminds me of the God of New England, football coach Bill Belichick, who I’m pretty sure has yet to have a press conference without saying “It is what it is” at least once.

    The Work is very reminiscent of 4 questions James Ray uses (used) in his live seminars to break down limiting beliefs. It was focused on you to begin with – there was no turn it around step.

    Biggest Aha in note for me – that “should” is the theme to every bitchy story we tell ourselves. Her one prayer is pure gold. “Nothing ever goes wrong in life.” That is a Keeper and so is Byron Katie.

  • Rolana says:

    Byron Katie is a new author for me. Thanks Brian.

    The concept I got from this Note is, "Don't Argue with Reality". When a problem arises, recognize it for what it IS, not how I wish it were and embrace it as it is. This is less stressful.

    I like the "Compassionate Alarm Clocks" that are buzzing to wake us to face the work we still have to do. Most of us just hit the snooze button.

    I am reminded that by not facing the Reality and embracing it moment to moment, opportunities for our relationships, family and business often slip away.

  • Bernard T says:

    I love Byron Katie’s work and I wish I could attend one of her workshop, perhaps in the near future. The point about whose business to get involved with, I usually stay out of other people’s business. I have a hard time to find the boundary between my business and God’s business. And I know I am for ever overstepping the line and backing of and stepping over again. That’s me, always wanting to know if I have done enough. Is there something else I need to do? What else need to be done? And as always the answers are here staring me in the face yes I have done everything I can and no there is nothing else for me to do. Do you think I can leave that alone? Fat chance, I am in there like an elephant in a China shop need to know, need to know. I am working on this one, finding the boundaries are my weakness, got to turn it into strength.
    I avoid spending too much time analyzing faults or shortcoming I favor much more finding strength in people and working with that. Staying out of other people’s business is something I learned some time ago, mostly people don’t like it when someone wants to get into their business even if it is to help, and I learned that the hard way. So if someone need something or help they are adult enough to ask for it, and if they don’t then I wait until they learn that it is ok to ask. Trying to force even that can cause trouble.
    Finding the real root of a problem, now that’s valuable information and I am going to get that book because I need to know how to get to the root of some of my frustration and stress causing situation. I can see the stressful feelings, and it’s hard for me to find the cause, I think the roots go very deep. Listening to the alarm clock is one thing turning it off is another.
    Inquiry and the work that is something I am going to do. Love that kind of introspection.
    Well today was a busy day and it’s evening now, I just finish this post. Preparing for a very busy week end. I am not finish with today’s note I will continue working and posting during the next day as I can set some time aside.

  • Aderet says:

    Good Morning Friends,

    I've struggled with not trusting my feelings, afraid they would mislead me. Katie's "Work" gets to the root of the problem and helps us rethink a situation so we can trust our feelings. I think that's enormous. When we identify why we feel the way we do, fix the problem in our head that is causing those feelings, (so our feelings are based on reality and not the problem our head was making), then we can trust those feelings. I just love that and am anxious to put it in practice in my life. I feel like being able to trust my feelings will help me embrace myself and my world with greater appreciation and color.

    What an exciting journey life is!

    Aderet

  • Kavalloore Muraleedharan says:

    This is a great book, to open up ourselves for a postmortem.

    DO NOT argue with reality. How do I know that the wind should blow? It?s blowing!

    Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business.

    Too often we let our stressful feelings get us MORE stressed.

    Why not look at a stressful feeling as an alarm clock?a very compassionate alarm clock that?s nudging us to wake up to a new reality? A reality grounded in truth.

    Change the movie screen, the projector!!

    It?s a process that questions our assumptions about reality to bring us to the only thing we can change: our own mind.

    We need to get to Work on our minds?the source of all of our challenges.

    The greatest stock market you can invest in is yourself.

    Love these insights!!

  • Kavalloore Muraleedharan says:

    This is a great book, to open up ourselves for a postmortem.

    DO NOT argue with reality. How do I know that the wind should blow? It’s blowing!

    Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business.

    Too often we let our stressful feelings get us MORE stressed.

    Why not look at a stressful feeling as an alarm clock—a very compassionate alarm clock that’s nudging us to wake up to a new reality? A reality grounded in truth.

    Change the movie screen, the projector!!

    It’s a process that questions our assumptions about reality to bring us to the only thing we can change: our own mind.

    We need to get to Work on our minds—the source of all of our challenges.

    The greatest stock market you can invest in is yourself.

    Love these insights!!

  • This is an amazing book. I have read it several times. Each time I gain new insight. Worth the read.

  • rossp says:

    I like the idea of only losing 100% of the time when you argue with reality. Really comes back to a recurring theme across the notes of living in the moment.

    The 3 kinds of business aligns to Covey's circles of control / influence / concern — I love that model. I've found it to very useful both in keeping myself straight, and even more so as a coaching framework.

    Compassionate alarm clock — waking to new reality (and new possiblities?) — neat idea.

    On the idea of "lies we believe" is that often we're writing stories that aren't based on fact. Goes back to the idea of worrying about what others think of you — when in reality they aren't really thinking of you….

    Getting rid of should — powerful and effective — I've been focused on that since the Tony Robbins note. Very freeing to let go of "should"

  • Maxine says:

    I'm a day late, but never mind.

    I bought this book in my last visit to Waterstones, and since I've just finished “Love” by Leo Buscaglia, looks like I'll start reading this book next.

    Loads of good ideas.

    I've heard something similar to the Inquiry before, so will be reading the book, to get more insight into the use of this technique.

    Doing the Dishes
    “We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do”,.. Just do the next thing your inner voice is guiding you to do. As someone who quite often feels overwhelmed with how many things I want to do, I'm going to start listening more closely to my intuition/inner voice and see if maybe I'm missing the one thing, I'm meant to be doing next.

    Nothing goes wrong
    “Nothing ever goes wrong in life”, yeah right!!
    “Everything happens for me, not to me” not convinced yet.
    And “Until you can see everything in the world as your friend, your work is not done”.
    Ok, so more work for me then :-)

  • robrave says:

    Loving what is, this title caught my attention. It's the same thing Abraham-Hicks was trying to convey on their every workshop. I like the analogy of lens and movie screen, that makes sense. So, starting now, if everytime I see something that doesn't please me, I must stop and contemplate. Is this just because of my perception? Really big idea!! :)

  • MaxineH says:

    I'm a day late, but never mind.

    I bought this book in my last visit to Waterstones, and since I've just finished "Love" by Leo Buscaglia, looks like I'll start reading this book next.

    Loads of good ideas.

    I've heard something similar to the Inquiry before, so will be reading the book, to get more insight into the use of this technique.

    Doing the Dishes
    "We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do",.. Just do the next thing your inner voice is guiding you to do. As someone who quite often feels overwhelmed with how many things I want to do, I'm going to start listening more closely to my intuition/inner voice and see if maybe I'm missing the one thing, I'm meant to be doing next.

    Nothing goes wrong
    "Nothing ever goes wrong in life", yeah right!!
    "Everything happens for me, not to me" not convinced yet.
    And "Until you can see everything in the world as your friend, your work is not done".
    Ok, so more work for me then :-)

  • olga says:

    Great comments……I am enjoying everyday, as Mark says, making it a daily ritual, since we have a grrrreeeeat distraction in Vancouver right now……..the OLYMPICs. But I still need my Philosopers Notes FIX
    Love
    Olga

  • mani noa says:

    hey yeah, i really like this note. loving what is. I like the carpenter's balance – perfect imagery for my swaying mind! That and the intuition action – doing the dishes number. I often have intuitions about what I'm supposed to be doing… and am often frustrated hen I don't do them… anyway all in all very relaxing advice. combined with taking 100% responsibility for your self your life and your thoughts and actions… all great. peace.

  • JeannetteS says:

    post 1 of 2
    Hello!
    It's taken me a few days to get throught last week's notes but I am pushing through!
    It seems that every big idea presented in this note follows the theme of accepting what is. I am usually good at this…except at my current job! I've been struggling for the last few months trying to be positive and fulfill my duties and it has been very hard for me. I know that others around me are picking up on my not so positive energy and I have my moments where my day at work is smooth sailing but those days are very few.

    This leads me to my biggest takeway of this note and something that I recently have been reading/learning more about. The idea that in any given moment we usually have some intuitive insight about what needs to be done. THIS IS SO TRUE!! I know that my time here at work has come to an end but I have been holding on (for money?? lack of confidence to start my practice?? fear of missing the routine??) and it isn't working at all!

  • JeannetteS says:

    post 2 of 3
    Well after this past weekend (spent with my fab RHH girls) I was in a position to see some things about me that I just wasn't ready and/or willing to admit. In any case they helped become more clearer about how I want to proceed with leaving my job. I guess ultimataely I was holding on b/c I didn't have a clear idea of how to move on but now I do. My intuition is telling me to make moves sooner rather than later and that is exactly what I am doing. I have my end date in mind and I am going to do everything that I possibly can to make it happen and make it as smooth as possible. I am also learning to rely on my intuition more and to feel my next moves rather than find the logic in them. I have been denying myself for far too long and suffering (mentally and physically) for far too long. I am doing anyone (myself, my loved ones, my co workers) any favors by conciously choosing to stay stuck.

  • JeannetteS says:

    post 3 of 3
    I know exactly what I need to do (thanks intuition!) and well it's time to step into my brillance and take the necessary action! This past weekend I was pushed beyond my comfort zone in a big way and I learned two things…1. I survived! and 2. It's time for me to stand in my power and own my voice. After reviewing this note it became 100% clear to me that now is the time to do just that.

    I'm totally gonna rock it out!!!

  • This is great, lots to learn and even more to live by. my king of book, think I'll read it again.

  • CVircillo says:

    Loving What is
    Byron Katie

    Byron Katie is one of my favorites – I laugh hysterically every time I read one of her books. So great.

    Only 3 kinds of business
    Mine yours and Gods – much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business.

    Stressful feeling is an alarm clock.

    No amount of scratching on the screen will remove the lint on the projectors lens.

    The work –
    judge your neighbor – write it down – ask the questions – turn it around. So liberating.

    Throw should in the trash – except reality and go from there.

    “If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or
    appreciation.

    If I think that someone else is causing me my problem – I'm insane.

    Get to work on your mind. Invest in yourself. Do the dishes.

    “Nothing ever goes wrong in life.”
    Reminds me of Wayne Dyer’s wisdom: “In my world, nothing ever goes wrong.”
    I love that. Can you see that everything is either a blissful experience or a blissful opportunity
    to learn?
    As Katie says: “Everything happens for me, not to me.” And: “Until you can see everything in the
    world as your friend, your work is not done.”

    The pain shows you what is left to investigate.

    Great great note,
    Christina

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