Right at this very moment, in some way, you’re every age you’ve ever been.
Let me explain why…
Because there’s no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect childhood, chances are you may not have always gotten what you needed at certain ages – causing your inner child to search to fulfill those unmet emotional needs, even throughout adulthood.
How Your Inner Child’s Needs Sabotage You
We all move through life in our own unique way – and we did so as children.
When our parents, teachers, or peers didn’t understand our natural behavior, chances are, they judged it or tried to shut it down.
Their judgments often became stories that we continued to believe as we grew into adulthood, causing us to continue to shame ourselves for the same reasons we did as children.
If we don’t stop this behavior, we may be keeping ourselves from reaching our true potential.
Which Judgments Did You Hear As a Child?
Every child expresses one of four dominant energetic expressions as a result of hearing
a certain pattern of judgment from others who don’t understand their nature. Consider the limiting messages you may have heard as a child, and ask yourself: Do you still believe them?
Which type of child were you?
Social and effervescent, these children bring an energy of fun to everything. If this was you, you may have been told that you were:
- too silly
- too talkative
- unable to keep up with your ideas and make up your mind
- too active, that you needed to calm down and to stop talking with your hands
Emotionally connected to the world, these children are naturally sensitive. If this was you, you may have felt invisible and told:
- to speak up
- that you’re too shy
- you’re indecisive
- you ask too many questions
- to stop being so sensitive
Dynamic and physical, these children are task-oriented go-getters. If this was you, you felt frustrated when adults held you back or told you that you were:
- aggressive and pushy
- way too loud
Intellectually oriented, these children see themselves as the authority of their own world. If this was you, you disliked people who put you on the spot or said you were:
- too serious – smile more!
- a know-it-all
- not outgoing enough
- a stickler for the rules
What Your Inner Child Needs the Most
Every single child, at every single age, needs to know they are unconditionally loved and lovable.
If you sometimes feel like things don’t work out for you, or that your life isn’t going the way you want it to, look at how loved you feel in your life. Do you believe you are lovable, just the way you are?
If not, do this simple but powerful exercise to meet your inner child’s needs and become a more balanced, empowered adult.
Close your eyes and visualize yourself at the age when you felt most judged, hurt or rejected. Were you 3 years old? 8? 15?
Imagine that “child you” in a space of white light where they are safe and free from any shame or fear.
Tell your inner child:
- “You are loved, you are okay and that everything will turn out fine”
- “I’m here to take care of you now and I love you”
- “You don’t need to do anything to be loved”
- “You are lovable, just the way you are”
As you love and parent your own inner child, your adult self will feel stronger and more emotionally stable. You will see new opportunities open up and you will attract people into your life who appreciate you for who you are.
How to Save the Next Generation
Our children do not need to suffer the same wounds that we did as children.
When you honor a child for who they are, you help them grow into an adult whose inner child feels secure and loved. That is the most important message you can ever give your child.
In some way, each day, send the following message to your child (even if they’re an adult):
“I love you, just for who you are.”
Not only will you give them the gift of love and acceptance, you’ll also be doing the same to yourself, as what you say to others will be echoed to your inner child.
It can be challenging to think of the unmet needs your inner child experienced. However, by choosing to fill this void with love and acceptance, you can stop this subconscious search for approval – forever. Think about the type of child were you, and try the exercise above to see whether it helps release any judgments that have followed you through to adulthood.