When wanting to become a more assertive individual or create an assertive client it is important to create a strong core.
1. Create a Strong Core.
How do you create a strong core? It’s actually very simple.
Learn to be kind to yourself! Not just in the things that you do, but in the things that you say to yourself. Think about it.
On a daily basis, we a flooded with thoughts on how to pursue our life.
I need to go grocery shopping.
I forgot to buy a wedding card for next week’s event.
I need to start my diet.
I cannot forget to visit my parents next weekend.
How often do we take a moment, even five minutes to tell ourselves our strengths?
This method will help strengthen the line of assertiveness in ourselves. We are creating concrete positive visions of ourselves.
Some examples of positive assertions:
I am strong because I exercise.
I am strong because I am empathetic.
I am strong because I take care of my family.
I am strong because I can diffuse a negative situation.
I am strong because I choose to find the good in people.
It is important to know why you are strong, and to add to the list if you feel you have missed something. You will find you are actually a very strong person, and just didn’t really have the time to show yourself how strong you really are.
2. Step out of your comfort zone.
You will find that through most of your life there has been a pattern to how you respond or reciprocate information to other people.
An example would be you agree a lot — even if you disagree on the inside.
Another example would be that you just don’t disagree and you laugh along.
You may also feel hurt, and then hide that you have felt hurt or laugh it off.
It is time for a change in your pattern, rock the boat.
When treading new territory in how to respond to a situation in an assertive way instead of in a passive way it can be overwhelming. You may find feelings of panic setting over you and finding reasons why you shouldn’t follow through with your goal to become a more assertive individual.
Whenever you reach that point, I want you to quiet your mind and remember you are just having a conversation.
The other person’s emotions along with your emotions are completely natural. You have reached the top of the mountain on your journey.
A common example I see often in my line of work is one person being unkind to another person. The simplest way to create assertion and build confidence is voicing how you feel.
As simple as it sounds voice that the individual is being unkind and that you don’t appreciate how they are acting toward you.
This will create a wave of emotion inside the person you have spoken to. What this wave does it brings the person to a higher level of consciousness and will help to bring them out of a pattern of being rude or unkind.
How do I know this? I have been through the process myself, and am able to relate!
Similar to dipping your toe in a swimming pool filled with cold water. After jumping in you feel a rush of cold water, but soon the feeling neutralizes and you feel balanced once again.
My tip: Try this with someone in a very small way first and build up. You can go either way. What trying does it helps to build normality and eventually build you into a more assertive individual.