Ever felt that sometimes long after a relationship has finished, particularly an extremely passionate one, you’re still tied or connected to that person’s energy?

I’m not talking about the emotional ties that come with heartbreak or loss, which as we know, only heals with time and a suitable amount of chocolate – depending on your emotional healing weapon of choice!

What I’m referring to are energetic cords – the transfer of astral and etheric energy between two people. Cords can be positive or negative, and can develop between anyone you’ve had a strong connection with – whether it be a lover, friend or your mother.

A positive cord, for example, between you and a close friend, transfers energy and warmth, acting like an imaginary hug even if you’re on opposite sides of the world. Now that’s some serious positive cosmic energy!

However, turn this situation around to an ex-lover, and to one you had a highly charged sexual relationship with, it’s not surprising that sending or receiving energy after the relationship has ended is detrimental to both parties abilities to move on.

Over time, this continual exchange of energy will drain your energy supply. Only once you’ve dissolve or cut the cord, will you be able to make strong new cords with other people, or have more energy to focus on loving yourself!

Arielle Ford, author of the international bestseller, the Soulmate Secret, explains:

“Science has now proven that at the quantum level we are all energy and we are all connected.

“When we are intimate with another human being, we become even more connected through energetic cords that are left on us and in us.”

For those of you who have ever dated a typical “bad boy or girl” this may ring further true. It is often in these dysfunctional relationships where passion runs high and our worlds (and beds) are turned upside down.

Whether it’s genuine chemistry, or an unruly ego singing out for love and praise from this unavailable person, this energy can continue to be transferred through your cord long after you’ve parted ways.

Therefore, when it comes to finding a new partner or getting your groove on with your next partner, the cord you still share with your ex is clogging up your mojo so-to-speak, preventing you from giving your full energy to a new sexual relationship, and the same applies to forming new friendships.

Send Your Ex Packing!

Relax – there’s no need to come clean to your new partner about the subconscious affair you’re having with your ex, however, it is time to send your ex on their way for good! Here’s how:

Releasing The Cord

One way to remove the cord is by releasing it. This is a peaceful way to remove a dysfunctional part of any relationship or to let go of an ex-lover who is still draining your energy.

To release the cord, visualize you’re sitting in a circle made of silk in a garden. Feel the protective energy of the rope around you and the light from the sun making you stronger.

Now imagine there’s another circle opposite yours, with your ex sitting in it. Smile at them and wave goodbye, sending peace and love. The separating circles allow you to reaffirm your space and release the energy from the cord.

Cutting The Cord

When the energetic cord is too strong due to the nature of the relationship, peacefully releasing the cord just won’t do – force is required – you need to cut it.

Arielle says “cutting” is one of the fastest and easiest ways to sever cords with a dysfunctional relationship, whether it be with a friend or an ex, and recommends the following steps:

  • Stand up and using your imagination, see the other person standing in front of you, a few feet away.
  • See a cord of energy connecting your belly button to their belly button and using your hand cut the cord with a karate chopping motion three times.
  • Clap your hands three times and go and wash your hands or use sanitizer. 
  • Do this for every cord you want to cut – ensuring you wash your hands before and after each cord.

Freeing yourself from this negative energy is an important process in moving on, although Arielle warns it should be exercised with caution:

“Sometimes the person you have cut the cord with will suddenly call you and want to reconnect on an energetic level, they felt the disconnection and want you back. I suggest you don’t interpret this as meaning they want to come back to you, they’re just trying to suck your energy (in a vampire kind of way), so beware!”

Awareness Cords

Enlightened mystic, Osho Shivo, advises that in addition to energy cords there is an awareness cord that exists between entities who have related with each other in deep trust.

“This awareness cord serves a great purpose in reuniting these entities, when one of them have taken a quantum leap in consciousness. This is how the master and disciples of past lives meet again in most mysterious fashion and the masters in higher realms direct their disciples to other masters, presently incarnated on earth.

While entities share their subconscious through an energy cord, their super conscious is shared through an awareness cord. As any one of the entity takes a quantum leap in consciousness, it can be transferred to others who are connected by this awareness cord.”

We’ll be looking further into awareness cords next month, however in the meantime we’d love to hear about any experiences you’ve had with releasing or cutting energetic cords, or if you need to?

Deanna Romano

Deanna Romano

Deanna is a writer for FinerMinds and a traveller of the world. She makes any place home with her wonderful charm, her keen interest in local heritage and, of course, her Aussie ways.


  • Avatar Karen says:

    I am going through a marriage breakdown with a guy who sucks my energy big time. I have tried a similar process but not the hand clapping and washing. I will try this. I have done the karate chop but had to revert to a chain saw and that still felt like it didn’t work. The reach inside me is immense. What I did after the chain saw was seal my part of the chord with energy to try and stop the flow. Should I need to do the process more than once as I feel he keeps reconnecting it.

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