This week I am going to teach you the unfamous art of “How to Cockblock the Universe from Giving you Everything you Truly Want in Life.” In case you’re not savvy on the urban slang; ‘to cockblock’ means to sabotage, stop, interfere or not allow… it just sounds funnier when you say it this way!
Perhaps as you read this ridiculous (but sometimes True) list you’ll realize you’re doing at least one or more things that Cockblock the Universe from giving you what you want.
And IF YOU ARE being a cockblock, I hope you’ll have a good laugh and then make the positive changes that are needed in order to let the love and abundance in! Also, if you happen to know someone who cockblocks themselves and their dreams, perhaps you’ll be a good friend and send them this article!
Please Be Aware:
–> YES this is meant to be funny!
–> YES it’s funny because we (humans) actually do these things sometimes in order to live in separation & struggle!
–> YES I don’t recommend you follow these instructions at all!
–> YES each of the 11 methods for stopping, blocking and avoiding the Universes assistance to delivering what your heart really desires have probably been tried, tested and proven to work by ‘yours truly’ (me) at some point or another …
Enjoy and please share your favorite Cockblocking Technique down below…
So here we go …. 11 Ways to Cockblock the Universe from Giving you Everything you Truly want in Life!!!
1) Always tell yourself you can’t do something before ever even trying… The smart thing to do is stop yourself at ‘the good idea’ and save yourself the hassle of ever even trying. If you catch yourself thinking about trying, just remember to give your power to all those nagging excuses in the back of your mind!
2) Be sure to give up on yourself the moment you can’t figure something out… If you can’t figure something out the first time around, clearly it’s a divine sign from the Universe that it’s just not meant to be. Give up now before you waste another moment figuring this shit out!
3) Never be open to help… Seeking out answers elsewhere or asking for guidance is a bad idea! Remember what those spiritual guys said, “The answers are within you,” which means everyone else must be wrong
4) Burn every bridge you cross… By stepping on toes and burning bridges with others you’ll be forced into living a life of seclusion and loneliness. Before moving on to the next person be sure to squeeze every last drop out of them before. Take, take take!
5) Get totally fixated on doing it ‘your way,’ rather than the ‘best way’… It is healthy to be confident, so don’t let anyone share their ideas or persuade you from veering off course by thinking of a ‘better, easier way’ to do something. If you catch yourself opening up, just remember your way is the only way so tell them to be quiet & leave you alone!
6) Do it for the money… Screw doing what you love, that could only lead to happiness and freedom, which is not the goal here. It’s all about the benjamins baby!
7) Really criticize yourself when you make a mistake… Being critical, name calling, belittling and putting yourself down will only make you stronger and wiser…..right? Be sure to really kick your own ass (especially for the small things) and put the pressure on to be perfect all the time!
8) Worry and stress about everything… Worrying and being stressed all the time will surely help you be more productive and focused so be sure to make everything out to be a bigger deal than it is. I mean, in this infinitely expanding Universe, clearly your problem is the biggest one!
9) Don’t share your ideas, inspirations, passions or Truth… By sharing with others people will find out just how awesome and brilliant you are and your plan to sabotage all your dreams from coming true will epically fail!
10) Do NOT take Any Action… Taking action requires energy. It is better to conserve your energy for breathing, eating and weighing down the couch. If the inspiration to do something productive strikes, just turn on an infomercial and crank up the volume!
11) Never ever listen to your intuition… Listening to your intuition is one of the biggest ways to letting the Universe give you everything you want in Life, so whatever you do DON’T DO THAT!!
By doing the opposite of what each of the 11 instructions above guide you to do, you will indeed find yourself allowing in the support of the entire Universe with more ease and grace than ever before. Other side effects may include happiness, divine creativity, unlimited abundance, uncontrollable laughter, outbursts of joy and complete & total Awesomeness!