You’ve worked hard to create the life you thought would bring you happiness. Yet all your achievements, possessions, and relationships have failed to deliver the deep sense of joy and fulfillment you long for.
You wonder what the point of it all is, for no matter what you try; you end up in the same old place feeling empty, disillusioned—and Stuck.
I’ve been where you’re now but freed myself from a never-ending circle of rumination, stagnation, and joylessness by following the 5 steps below, that I’m thrilled to share with you.
Try them too! And watch as old habits, and self-limiting beliefs dissolve and disappear, freeing you to experience the deeply joyful life you dream of.
1. Let the Universe Guide You
You’ve tried to create your dream life so far from the perspective of your small self —the ego—which is driven by fear, desires, keeping up appearances, and the need to control.
That’s why you feel disillusioned, no matter what you try.
To experience a phenomenal life, you’ve got to shift your perspective from Desire to Will
Desire is always driven by greed for things: more money, more power, more prestige, the perfect lover, the dream home, and it can never be truly satisfied, while Will needs nothing added to it.
It’s simply your life force that wants to assert itself in its wholeness and manifest in your life the treasures within you, that are masked by the illusions of your mind.
Will, can make visible the limitless future awaiting you, if you let your Big Self—which is directly connected to the highest consciousness, the Universe—guide you.
How to Let the Universe Guide You
First, get clear on what it is you want to experience. Then, open dialogue with the universe, through written questions in a physical or digital journal you can name, “Conversations with my Higher Self.”
Find some quiet time and space in your day and set the following intention silently or loudly: “I’m open to receiving answers from my Higher Self.”
Write down your most pressing question, which keeps you awake at night such as, “Should I stay in this relationship?” Keep writing without censoring the words flowing out of you. Don’t stop to think about what you’ve written or go back to reread it.
If you’re new to this exercise, plan to write continuously for twenty minutes each time with the understanding that you can write more, but you shouldn’t write less.
Trust this process, and you’ll be amazed at what pops up.
Stop trying too hard to make things happen and allow your life to unfold serendipitously. Stop banging on closed doors and Surrender to what is.
Surrender is not giving up or defeat. It’s getting out of your way and trusting that the universe has a greater plan for you, which will unfold in time.
Though surrender may seem counter-intuitive to making your goals happen, it can actually be the magical factor that facilitates this and relieves gridlock.
─ Judith Orloff, MD
Let go of control and become comfortable with uncertainty. It’s in the open space of surrender, that you affirm your trust in your Higher Self.
How to Cultivate an Attitude of Surrender
The next time you catch yourself worried about something, repeat the following vow: “I surrender my worries to the Divine source of all manifestations, and I vow to stop resisting life.”
Interchange the word ‘worries’ with whichever draining emotion you may be experiencing such as pain, depression, resentment, or anger.
Practice this vow regularly to dissolve your sense of helplessness and shift your vibration from despair to that of positive expectations.
3. Mindful Observation
Many of us, unfortunately, spend our lives inside our minds ruminating about the past or worrying about the future and in doing so, completely miss the only place life ever really unfolds—the present.
A life spent inside the mind is one filled with pain and disillusionment because the stories our minds create tend to cast us in the victim’s role, making us helpless bystanders in the events unfolding in our lives.
This painful state of being can lead to a life long detachment from our authentic nature, making it difficult for us to experience happiness.
To experience an abundantly happy and joyful life, it’s imperative that you cultivate an attitude of Mindful Observation
And one of the simplest ways to achieve this is through, “Mindfulness of breathing”.
In this practice, you observe the in and outflow of your breath, without trying to manipulate it.
If you’re new to meditation practice, start with 5 -10 minutes every morning, as early as is convenient. Choose a comfortable position, but whatever position you choose, whether it’s sitting in a straight-backed chair or on the floor, be sure to keep your head, neck, and spinal column in a straight line.
Close your eyes and bring your attention to the triangle shaped area between the opening of your nostrils and the top of your upper lip. Observe your breath in this small area as it enters and leaves your nostrils. Notice its nature without judgment or attachment: Is it cold or warm? Subtle or labored? Which nostril is more open… left or right?
When your mind wanders off, gently bring its attention back to your breath.
Over time, this practice will not only steady your mind, but will help you experience your life and the world around you, as they really are, rather than the twisted version projected by your mind.
4. Be Grateful
You’ve heard it said 1,000 times, that “It’s in giving that we receive.” And that couldn’t be truer in the case of Gratitude.
When we give thanks and show appreciation for the blessings we receive, however small they may be, we send out a signal to the universe, that we’re alert and are receiving its messages.
Since it’s the nature of the universe to send us more of what we’re open to receive, the more thanks and appreciation we express, the more blessings will show up in our lives.
How to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude
Robert Emmons, the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude suggests that you “Make a vow to practice Gratitude, because Research shows that making an oath to perform a behavior increases the likelihood that the action will be executed.”
Write your own gratitude vow, which could be as simple as ‘I vow to write a gratitude letter to the universe each week.’ and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.
Choose the day of the week on which you’ll be executing this vow. I personally find Sunday a great day to perform mindful rituals.
Then, plan to write your letter in a meaningful place, time and atmosphere. Remember to set an intention before you start writing like, “I’m giving thanks to the universe for the blessings I’ve received during this week.”
Setting an intention activates your dialogue with the universe. It sets into action, your Will to call into your life what you want to manifest.
In your gratitude letter, list at least 7 things (at least one for each day) for which you’re grateful for. Make sure to elaborate on what those things mean to you.
This practice works because it intentionally focuses your attention on developing more grateful thinking and eliminating ungrateful thoughts.
5. Open Your Heart to Receiving
Your heart is the key to a fulfilled life. Until it heals from old wounds and traumas, you’re bound to keep on feeling empty no matter what you accomplish.
Holding on to grudges and past injuries block your heart’s ability to enjoy the blessings showing up in your life. A blocked heart is unable to experience unconditional love, inner peace, and lasting happiness.
To free yourself from the past, you’ve got to open up this phenomenal spot, by practicing forgiveness.
Forgiving those who hurt you, is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re excusing what they did to you, or that you have to continue including them in your life.
It’s something you do for yourself and not for the benefit of anyone else. As long as you hold on to past emotional injuries, you remain a victim to the experiences of your past.
Cultivate Forgiveness by Connecting With Your Heart
Each night before you go to sleep, sit quietly with your eyes closed. Use the Mindfulness breathing technique from step number 2, to calm your mind. Then set the intention: “I Am Connecting with my Heart.”
Direct your breath towards your heart and observe the sensations within and around it. You may feel a warmth spreading out through your chest area, or experience throbbing and pulsating sensations. These indicate that the connection with your heart has activated.
Ask your heart to reveal to you what it is holding onto. As images, memories, or sensations arise to the surface, observe them without letting your mind create a story about them.
Then, release each one of them, as you repeat quietly or loudly the following statement:
“Thank you for the lessons you’ve taught me. You’ve served your purpose well, but I don’t need you anymore. I’m releasing you with love, so that I may continue on my journey peacefully.”
This is going to be a tough practice in the beginning, but stick with it. Trust that there’s inner peace, happiness, and freedom awaiting you when all the pain and disillusionment is unknotted and releases from your heart.