Most people aspire to for total satisfaction, content, peace, and balance within themselves. This is commonly referred to as happiness. Although we may not be completely sure of what it means at first, we all fantasize about it. However, the real question is not what happiness is, but how we reach it.
I cannot say that the last four years of my life have been miserable, overflowing with problems nor that I was drowning in an ocean of hatred. Nevertheless, that did not stop me from being unhappy, for feeling as if I was not worth it or unsatisfied. Unfortunately it took me three years to find a cure which I am now sharing with you. But thanks to this simple however complex formula, I am now allowed to say that I am happy.
Self-love + Determination × Attitude
Now that you know the formula, I will continue to explain it.
I have to admit that this will probably be the hardest part of it all, but the Roman Empire was not built overnight and neither is love.
Happiness includes acceptance and loving the people around you. If you cannot love yourself, then you will not be able to let others love you. If you do not accept who you are or how you are, then you will not be able to walk forward every day.
As we are all aware of, love can be hard, especially when it comes to our own selves. It is even harder with everyone dictating what we should look like, do, or even what we should like; that is the art, the beauty of it. If loving ourselves was simple then it would not be love at all, it would not be true and life would be plain simple. Life is not meant to be easy.
We need to stand for ourselves, embrace who we are and welcome it. It does not matter what you love, how you look, or what your goals are.
We are who we want to be and now is the time to embrace it and cherish it. We were not just born this way – we are like this because we were also molded this way. That is the catch of it. We are all different human beings who are each worthy of love, respect and life.
Be proud of who you are and do not be afraid to show it off. The ones who truly love you will stay by your side, just like you will be there to back your own self up. Plus, how can you be happy if you are not comfortable in your own skin and mind?
This one is the aspect that I personally found less challenging, but that does not mean it is easy. If words had bodies, this one would be the strongest one of them all. To love yourself, be happy, and live to the fullest, you need determination. Without it, you will give up.
There was not really a day I sat down and life just made sense. I did not pass from the depressed girl to the happy one in matter of seconds. It took me loads of determination and years. It may be a long process that you should to be ready to endure.
It can get tough at times, but it is all for the better. Without my determination to stop living in the void, I would not have gotten anywhere. I would probably be still stuck down there. However, I could manage to continue when I felt like throwing the towel.
How can you keep yourself motivated? That is up to you. I, for instance, just kept reminding myself how brighter life would be. I noticed the people in my surroundings and realized that I wanted to share my light, not suck theirs.
Find a motivator, find your light, and share it. And above all, keep moving forward.
The credit for this one goes for my dad because if it were not for him, I would not have figured out what was missing in this formula. It might be the most important aspect, or at least the one that gets it all moving. That is the reason why you should multiply attitude, not sum it up.
Why is attitude is important? Well, your attitude towards life, yourself, your friends, or even an activity (as insignificant as that might be) defines how you do it.
I remember having to sweep the floor of my patio every time we had a barbecue. When I recall it, I remember the hatred towards the broom and my father. I was uncomfortable, I did not want to sweep the floor. But what did my bad attitude do? It made me a hideous floor sweeper.
Consequently I would get a lecture from my father, not only admonishing me on how to use a broom but also saying that I had to put in some effort. “That way it will be quick, efficient and you will not have to worry about it anymore. It’s all better if you have a good attitude towards it”, he lectured me.
At first it did not make sense, but then it clicked. Even if I did not feel like doing it, pretending I did made me not hate it so much. It even made me good at it.
I didn’t become a professional floor sweeper, but I did become an expert in doing things with a better attitude. I started to smile more and even if I did not want to do something, I dug into it. I might have forced myself into some things at first, but I cannot complain about the results.
Your attitude towards life defines your perspective. If you have a negative attitude, you will have a negative perspective. So go on and jump on that positive outlook and a journey towards happiness.