There are many reasons that you might sabotage yourself.

It’s an extremely common human behavior, rooted in a fear of the unknown.

If you have immersed yourself in mediocrity, the idea of greatness may be frightening. Many of us sabotage ourselves when we decide we want something by doing everything we can to ensure we don’t get it.

Sound familiar?

Although self-sabotage is a subconscious behavior, through conscious effort to change your habits, you will get a handle on it.

Invoking the shadow behavior of the saboteur archetype encompasses inducing self destructive behaviors and habits that come in many forms that I’ve experienced in myself, and witnessed within others:

  • Control. You might self-sabotage because you have a need to be in control of your circumstances. The easiest and most certain way to stay in control is to maintain the status quo. If you put your all into something, you run the risk of becoming vulnerable. Fear gets the best of you because that is perceived by the subconscious mind as harmful, and you self-sabotage.
  • Low self-esteem. Do you feel unworthy of accomplishing goals or the idea of success? For whatever reason, you may have decided that happiness ought to be forever beyond your reach. This is a self-limiting idea, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy over time. It’s quite disempowering, and rooted in fear.
  • Illusionary excitement. Perhaps you undermine your efforts because you’re seeking excitement through addictive avenues. You feel the need to remain in a constant state of turmoil that poses as excitement to distract yourself from painful memories or alleviate boredom.

Now ask yourself if you’re satisfied with your life.If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, fear not: there are steps you can take to put yourself on the path toward self-mastery.

If you are ready to explore the shadow aspect of self, and defeat your self-sabotage habits, then consider this three step process:

1. Observe your behavior.

First off, it’s essential that you begin to observe yourself. You can effectively do this by creating a self-sabotage journal.

Make a journal entry every time you realize that you’ve sabotaged yourself. Describe the setting, circumstances, and end result. Word of caution, avoid over-analyzing!

Keep in mind that most often, a person’s true intentions are most evident in their actions, rather than their words.

Therefore, strive to be an impersonal observer in your journal. Eventually, you’ll gain a better understanding of your motives in certain situations.

Through the power of observation, you will garner the power to see things from a HIGHER perspective, which will lead to positive behavioral change.

2. Envision success. Feel successful.

Keep in mind that success is neither black nor white. Cultivate the habit of envisioning what success means to you, and most importantly remember how it feels to achieve it.

One of the key ingredients that will either bring you closer to success or feed the self sabotaging behavior is your emotions. Monitor them along with your thoughts!

No one will or should expect you to be on cloud nine on a daily basis, but as you incorporate monitoring your emotions and aligning yourself with the vibration of success (hint: it MAY feel like cloud nine!), you will find that what you envision and feel changes over time, and for the better!

I challenge you to see success as an integral part of your future, but realize there will still be challenges. Through those challenges comes growth & wisdom from you overcoming your obstacles, and that will help feed your successful journey!

Challenges and successes are part the dualities of this physical existence. Embrace it! Love it!

3. Let go of the notion of perfection, and develop a healthier relationship with self.

As you visualize success, are you still thinking that success equals perfection? If so, it’s time to realize that perfection is a false reality, and the name of the self sabotaging prevention game is progress!

Perfection and life are mutually exclusive because perfection is unattainable. Your subconscious won’t allow you to achieve success if you associate success with the impossible task of being perfect or having a perfect outcome.

Think of your subconscious as a computer. It doesn’t know how to execute a command called “do the impossible.”

This has been a major learning lesson for me to overcome, because of the deeply ingrained idea of perfection in all facets of my life! The quest for perfection has lead to more procrastination than it has accomplishments.

Last, but not least, about this quest for perfect success: if you associate success with fear (which I personally believe perfection is rooted in), your subconscious will fight you the entire way. Why? Because its primary function is to protect you from perceived threats.

Instead, give yourself permission to anticipate success with excitement.

During this whole experience, please remember to always show yourself compassion! Invite the energies of empowerment today versus the self-sabotaging habits of yesterday by forgiving yourself, surrender all that no longer services your growth, and accept that you are enough!

Overcome the lack aspect of the relationship with self, and give yourself the respect by believing that you are capable of accomplishing all that you want and more. Remind your subconscious the unknown can’t harm you, only fear.

Enjoy and appreciate your journey through your actions, what you, yes YOU created with thought. Through that enjoyment you will overcome your self-sabotaging behavior.

Danielle Holdman

Danielle Holdman

Danielle M. Holdman, CPC is a Certified Professional Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner, Intuitive Reader, Consultant who ownsThe Marketing Parlour Agency, and host ofThe Coaching Parlour podcast. Her goal is to makes it easy for you to recognize how you can leverage your life purpose for career or small business success.

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