The power of the soul mate connection really struck home to me last night when I lit a candle behind my giraffes; the effect took me back.

Something that looked like an ordinary wooden ornament suddenly took on much power and presence.

The light brought the giraffes alive, and in bringing them alive their own darkness, their own shadow became pronounced.The ignited flame brought the shadow of the dark to light and transformed them from a wooden object to something poetic.

In polarity of a soulmate relationship and in facing each other in love, we are exposed to the light and the dark of ourselves and each other, it is both that brings us to life. 

It reminded me of a profound encounter I had the other day when a lady came for a Past Life Regression because of lack of self worth. As the life unfolded, we traced it back to her not being able to save a close family member, how useless and guilty she felt. From there she was always rescuing others, but feeling trapped (and racked with guilt for feeling that way).

When she spoke of her passing she described “hell.” There she said she spent 40 years before reincarnating today — to be given the chance to truly love. 

Her failure to love herself or others truly was obviously a self-punishing prison of hell, whether symbolical or literal who knows (it’s the first time I have had a client go to hell). Her own sense of worthlessness kept her heart blocked and she knew if she didn’t want to go back to hell she must learn to truly love herself first.

I wasn’t sat there thinking, “Oh gosh, this is so like me,” but then something very strange happened. I asked her where she was and she replied:

“In a little village called Liss.”

Shocks and bolts passed up and down my spine as she mentioned my hometown.

When she came round, I asked her if she knew that there was indeed a little village called Liss?

“No” she replied.

She was from China, so I believed her as not many people even in the UK have heard of “Liss.”

“Well, you don’t need Google it to verify it exists because it’s my hometown” was my response as I handed a stunned lady the notes, who said thank you and that she felt so much lighter.

I realized, like her, I had a lot of “issues” with love, just like her my heart was blocked to myself and others. I was coming from a lack of worth, a need to rescue and I hadn’t been experiencing my heart truly completely opening.

The realization hit me strong with waves of sadness pulsating through me, finally leaving me with a huge feeling of openness and expansiveness.

The Soulmate Connection

I don’t know what you make of all this.

There was a time when I didn’t believe in past lives, and then I walked into a church and saw him, standing in the doorway. Something went off in me. A feeling I couldn’t pigeonhole.

Week after week I saw him, sometimes dressed in the same colours from head to toe which sparked a look of acknowledgment and a smile, but never a word.

I tried to carry on with my life like everything was still the same, but nothing was.

Then it happened, I transported to another time, another place.

I naturally thought “where am I?” and much to my surprise I got an actual answer:

“Lincoln!”

In shock at the direct hotline I had dialled into I asked question after question. I got my name (Catherine Burgh) the date (1610). I was in a stately home that had it’s own church, I saw him and what happened. I came round and Googled it. There were four stately homes in Lincoln (UK) in 1610, but only one housed the Burgh family, and it was the only one that had a church in the grounds called St Peter’s (the name of the church where I met him).

By this time I was going slightly mad, I couldn’t cope with these internal feelings that were overpowering me. I left my business, my long term relationship, and my home — all within a week. All for a stranger I had never even spoken to in this life, yet I knew so well that I could tell you where he was and what he was doing every moment of the day (later to be confrmed when I found the courage to finally talk to him).

However, it soon became clear to me that I was in love with who he was 400 years ago, rather than who he is today. Now we are dear friends with a very special bond.

That experience turned my belief around, I trained up on past lives, and over the last decade it’s something I have learned to live with — the recognition of others and helping myself and others with confusing connections.

Below are my top 10 learnings, may it help you see clearly through the mists of time:

1. We truly are one

Everyone you meet (and don’t meet) has an impact. Some more so than others. A tree has clusters of leaves on the same branch, and clusters of other leaves that branch off that branch and so on.

Just like that, we have clusters of souls (commonly referred to as soul groups).

2. Allow yourself to feel the energy

When you meet someone from your soul group, the feeling is completely confusing and all-consuming. Your consciousness tells you they are a stranger, whilst your unconsciousness rejoices at the reunion.

It also knows that it means something big in your life is about to kick off — projected into your consciousness as fear. You know nothing will ever be the same again yet you can’t recall the past, so you have no idea what it all means, you just feel energy pulsating all the way through you, uncontrollably.

The Soulmate Connection

3. What is happening is an activation of the soul contract that was made

Lets go back to the tree. Say one day you are strolling along a different branch, soul searching about what you need to learn in your next life and suddenly you realize that you need to learn forgiveness.

So you ask the souls you come across if they would help you learn forgiveness, and they say, “No way! I am not messing up my karma for you!”

But then you turn a corner, and you see David. You and David have lived many lives together before and the feeling of connection between you is profound. David knows he has to learn not to care about what others think of him. These lessons resulting from your soul contract last time round.

Something happened, you blamed him and he was racked with guilt. Yet, when you meet on the branch, the feeling of love is profound. You understand the depth of how you are serving each other and the love that it’s motivated by, and so you do the deal — to reincarnate at the same time and meet up.

4. The cycle repeats

The meeting happens, the soul contract is activated and you pick up from where you left off — except you have no conscious memory of where you left off, so it’s incredibly easy to “lets go round again.”

5. Make a physical connection

The most powerful synchronicities you will ever encounter lay sprinkled around you each and every time you meet in the physical world (Skype and emails dilute this experience).

There is something about the physical connection that fuses like dynamite; the magic within bursts out into fireworks of serendipity — it’s enough to drive you insane with “what does this mean?”

6. They will help you to grow

Add to that the profoundly intense connection and we get the common misunderstanding that this type of love means they are your one true love, your “soulmate.”

What a “soulmate” is, first and foremost is a mate of your soul.

They are going to do things that challenge your human life, mind, human heart, body and ego. All in the name of helping your soul to evolve.

That’s the bottom line.

7. There will always be a theme

The role of a soulmate changes through eternity, they could have been your brother, your sister, your lover, your father, your mother etc… and so, at times when you are with them in this life, you will feel the dynamics of all these roles, the feelings between you can be ever-changing and incredibly confusing.

However, there tends to be a theme that stays the same. This is the contract to work on.

The Soulmate Connection

8. The soul contract themes are intense

Sometimes you just can’t honour the contract.

Sometimes you have to wave the white flag and say “I’ve learned all I can for this lifetime.” Sometimes it just feels way too blocked, loaded or stuck to progress.

9. Time will heal

That experience feels like it shatters not only your heart — but your soul too.

It can invoke a crippling pain that takes on even physical symptoms that only you know about. Like a bomb that went off in your insides, your own supernova implosion. The invisible walking wounded who just went through a war no-one ever knew about.

However much this hurts, one day you wake up and all feels new again because with time (eternal) everything heals.

10. Keep an open mind

If you do one thing let it be this: Help yourself by practicing non-judgment.

One thing I have learned is that judgment is thee block to love and evolution. Judgment about what they did to you, or about how you should be able to make this work. One life is a drop in the ocean of a sea of history between you; how can you really know better than the divine plan and divine timing?

The real issue at hand is small-minded thinking and the eons of pain that has been brought up by the meeting. Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with the connection, allow the divine plan of space and divine timing to do its thing.

Time really is the greatest healer, sometimes in the same lifetime you will come back together again and feel like you are working through on the next level, this feeling is so beautiful it’s one of the best things life ever truly has to offer you — it’s the whole point of it.

If you found this helpful and want some quick ways to discovering the purpose or contract then please see the link in my author bio.

Guide to Inspired Life