It’s also true that only those who wholeheartedly apply them will see the greatest results.
But what’s the explanation for when you have applied them diligently, and they still don’t work in the long-term – or at all?
To answer this question, let me explain the cause of this up and down rollercoaster effect of personal development, and how you can move beyond it so you start experiencing a true, lasting and sustainable change in your life.
The Number One Reason
The reason why personal and spiritual development techniques often don’t work is not because you’re doing them wrong, need more time and practice, or need to heal something else first. It’s because of one thing… judgement.
This tendency to judge ourselves may have come from when we were young and were punished or corrected for our behavior. When we were told the “right” way to be, we were often left feeling bad or unworthy for behaving in a way that seemed natural.
This judgment we picked up and internalized from outside sources created the deadly question in our subconscious: “What’s wrong with me?”
The thing is, you will not find the answer you’re probably seeking to this question, because there’s nothing wrong with you!
The Cost of Change Fueled by Judgment
When you attempt to change yourself through judgment, you are endorsing the illusion that you are broken and need fixing.
Your desire to expand or improve is pure, but if your judgment on how you are now is partially driving you to change, then you are creating from the contracted energy of judgment, rather than an expanded energy like inspiration.
Changing as a result of judgment hides the old you in your subconscious, creating the illusion of progress, but it always comes back later to bite you in the behind!
Some of the signs that you are creating or transforming through judgment are:
- Using phrases like “I should know better”, or “I have to work on this”, or “I thought I was past that”
- It takes effort to achieve and maintain any progress made
- You don’t feel completely fulfilled or successful when you “improve”
- You have a fear of regressing or losing what you have attained
- When the light or good starts coming in, you don’t feel totally comfortable receiving it or feel worthy of it, causing you to even self-sabotage
- At times, you feel deep down like you’re not being authentic
The Key to True Transformation
One step of improvement fueled by love will take you further than thousands of steps made because of judgment.
The great paradox at hand here is that you can only obtain positive transformation as a result of unconditional self-love and acceptance that extends beyond dark and light, wrong and right.
By fully embracing and accepting what you may judge as an invaluable or “bad” part of you, you allow yourself to transform that energy into a sustainable and lasting improvement.
Another awesome benefit of transforming through love is that you get to experience a wonderful paradox first hand: being forward focused on “improvement”, while simultaneously embracing where you are as your journey unfolds from one moment to the next.
The next time you’re wanting to expand or change something about yourself, try this method of applying unconditional love and your personal development effort will be much more effective and fulfilling.
We think this article hit the nail on the proverbial personal development head, as we couldn’t agree more that we need to love ourselves – the good and the bad – before we can truly self-improve. What are your thoughts? Please share them below.