Beautiful things do happen in our lives from time to time, and dreams do come true. We might find ourselves finally able to buy that wonderful house, car or bike. Perhaps we’ve found at last the right man or woman, or the career of our dreams. Maybe we are going to have a baby, move to our favorite city, or simply doing what makes us happy.
Luckily, from time to time, I’m able to see these things happening to people I love. Unfortunately, I also tend to notice that they don’t seem to enjoy their “new beginning.” As change approaches, people start to feel very nervous – sleeping badly, snapping at friends and family, and even having anxiety attacks.
I’ve seen it happen to my girlfriends, especially in the case of marriage and pregnancy. Now, I certainly cannot deny that it’s quite stressful to manage both the necessary preparations and the actual event; I’ve been there and I remember very well how hectic it was. I’m sure everyone would like to experience only joy and enthusiasm in a similar situation.
“But you can’t avoid stress,” people would say. “It’s normal. What can you do about it? Just try not to think about it.” Easy, huh?
Yet I passionately disagree with what this. I always felt that it’s unfair to self-spoil one’s right to live those special times in your life happily. Stress is not a doom that you have to suffer! You’ve worked hard for that wonderful thing, you deserve it, and moreover, some of those big events come only once in your lifetime. So hey, you ought to rejoice, full stop!
There are ways to shoo away those bad feeling gnawing at the back of your mind, and that’s why I’m a huge fan of EFT or Tapping. It’s just what you need when guilt, feelings of unworthiness, insecurity, fear of change, or any other trick that our mind loves to play on us, are sabotaging our rightful joy.
And when someone struggles with serious symptoms such as stomach cramps, tachycardia, insomnia, head dizziness and the like, it is essential to intervene. People often try to solve these problems with meds or “green” remedies, but Tapping can help sort things out at the root, instead of just “patching up” the symptoms.
Typically, in a pre-change situation, the stressed out protagonist usually exclaims at some point – “But why can’t I be happy now that finally I am getting married/having a baby/my own property/etc.? What’s wrong with me?”
It’s a very good question. THE question, I’d say.
The answer to this question can get you straight to the material to Tap on, and unlock the problem. You have to try to focus on the details.
Ask yourself the following questions, and write down your answers (and anything else you can think about the subject):
- Am I afraid because I feel like don’t deserve this?
- Am I afraid of not being good enough? And why? Who told me so?
- Do I remember an episode in which a figure that was important to me (a parent or a teacher, for instance) told me that I could never be worthy of this?
- Do I recall past failures that are connected to the possibility of a new failure?
- Do I not trust myself in facing this change?
- Am I just afraid of change itself? Of not being able to manage the practical details?
- Am I afraid of what will people say? Or that my family will not approve? (Often when a person changes for the better, the people in their life envy and disapproval, and that can be very hard to face.)
Now that you’ve written down your material, Tap on the memories and feelings that you’ve found. Tap for several days, expressing your emotions or physical sensations as you Tap, and describing the various problems that may arise in your mind and heart, until the negative feelings shift and dissolve.