If you are like the millions of people on this planet, you are working pretty hard to achieving your dreams.
Maybe it’s hitting the gym every day to stay in good shape, being the “expert” on project proposals at your job, or being the go-to-girl to your guy friends whenever they need some dating advice.
However, every now and then, no matter WHAT you are doing, you may feel like all of that hard work isn’t leading anywhere. You still haven’t lost that last 10 lbs. You’ve been waiting for that promotion for over a year. And, all those guys seem to be picking up girl after girl for dates while you’re at home with your Ben and Jerry’s and old Gossip Girl re-runs.
So, what gives?
The path to our dream life is often littered with own energetic trash, obstacles that we place ourselves. And one of the ways these obstacles stick around for longer than we plan is through our habits.
By definition, habits are behaviors that are so ingrained that we no longer become conscious of them; actions that turn into autopilot.
Multimillionaire guru Brian Tracy once said, “Successful people are simply those with successful habits.”
While you may engage in lots of successful habits (i.e., hitting the gym, helping out, and being a good listener), these habits are being undermined by toxic habits and negative thoughts. It’s kinda like taking a break on a treadmill. You run and run, then stop and start rolling backward.
However, by identifying those habits that keep you stuck or moving backwards, and then actively trying to change them could be the game-changer that you are desperately needing.
Below is a list of seven deadly habits that keep you stuck in sameness, unable to move forward towards your goals. Why deadly? Because they KILL your energy vibe and tell the universe that you are not ready for what you desire.
1. Fear of failure
No one wants to make mistakes or fail. But if you try too hard to avoid failure, you’ll also avoid success. To achieve what you want in life you have to TRY. And try again. And again. And again. And again (Ok, I think you get the point).
The more chances you take, the likelihood you have that this time you will get it right.
2. Fear of uncertainty
Most people like things to make sense. To have a logical order. To know what’s coming up next. Unfortunately, life is not neat and tidy, or even logical. There are some things you’ll never understand and a whole lot more you can’t plan for. Why do certain things work out and others do not? Who knows.
All I do know is that for things to really happen in your life, you have to let go of knowing the outcome before you begin. Get comfortable with confusion and messiness.
3. Consistently feeling overwhelmed
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. With the never-ending to-do list and information binging, it’s hard not to get caught up in thinking about all of the steps you need to take to get from here to your dream life. However, consistently feeling overwhelmed paralyzes you and prevents you from acting.
Just as you can overeat, you can also overthink. What exactly is causing your overwhelm? Take time to organize and prioritize everything that is causing the feeling. Then, come up with a daily plan to tackle your tasks little by little each day.
4. Needing to be perfect
As a recovering perfectionist, I can speak firsthand about how perfectionism literally can stop you in your tracks. While it is common sense to put your best effort into all of the things you set out to do, it is unrealistic and dehabilitating to spend so much time on something that is never deemed good enough to actually be put into place.
If have an idea for a book, write it, then publish it! If you are ready to launch a business, throw up a web-site and start getting traffic! If you are looking for your soul-mate, stop waiting until you lose those last 10lbs. and put up an online profile!
You could spend an eternity improving yourself, an idea, or a situation. But waiting until something is “perfect” before you begin blocks you from ever starting.
I’m not going to try to sell you on the notion that the opinions of other people aren’t important. However, if you are constantly seeking validation from others, you will not go very far in terms of reaching your goals.
People-pleasing is great for our ego. It makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. However, in the grand scheme of life, not knowing how to make decisions based on your own core values will almost definitely ensure that you will not be living a life aligned with your desires.
Learn to identify your intuition, trust your inner voice and make decisions that please you, not others.
6. Waiting for the “right time”
This one is related to perfectionism. How many of these sound familiar to you?
“When I have enough money saved Up I can…”
“When I get that new certification I will…”
“When I lose weight I can…”
“I need to research a bit more…”
“I need to practice a few more times…”
And while there is probably a grain of truth to all of these, get over it. The right time for change is right now.
7. Being trapped by false limits
You are a product of your experience and environment. However, most of the limits that you place upon yourself are self-imposed.
When you challenge yourself to look past what you know and feel comfortable with, you can you come up with the breakthrough which you are seeking. Be open to anything. Step outside your comfort zone. What seems impossible today may be completely doable tomorrow.
If you find that you have been committing one of these deadly habits (or all seven!), don’t worry. With practice, time, and support, you can break them, get unstuck, and start pushing forward!