So you were out of control, wanted to have some fun and ignoring all the blazing red signals, you went ahead and had that affair. You convinced yourself that you deserved it and continued that amour. Your partner eventually found out about your infidelity. Now what?
Or you lied about something huge to your partner for whatsoever reasons. They unexpectedly discovered it. Now what?
Let’s have some real talk for a moment. Cheating or lying or things this sort could be the potential reasons for the downfall of your relationship. To fix the cracks in the big beautiful castle of your relationship before it collapses, you need to put in all of your efforts. And here are some helpful tips on how to rebuild your relationship after that dreaded mishap.
1. Be Honest
They don’t say ‘honesty is the best policy’ for nothing. Once you’ve realized what colossal mistake you’ve made, go straight to your partner and tell them. Is it going to break them? Yes. Can it be the end of the relationship? Possibly. But do you have a better chance at mending your relationship and starting it over again? Absolutely. Strangely, sometimes the friction in the relationship can help in strengthening your bond. Just put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself a simple question. Would you rather find it out by some source or hear the confession from your spouse?
2. Change Your Habits
So heads up, folks. Your partner is going to be extra suspicious of everything that you do and say. But you can hardly be annoyed at them for this, can you? You’re going to be questioned for everything, right from those extra work hours to why grocery shopping took so long. Be prepared to deal with these kinds of questions and situations. Give enough time for your partner and put a check to any unhealthy habits they dislike thoroughly.
3. Give Your Partner Time to Heal
Everyone takes their own time and ways to heal. So don’t expect your partner to forgive you and run into your arms, everything miraculously falling in place right after you confess your deeds. It may take months, perhaps years for them to completely recover from the pain you have caused them. Give them their space and time. Meanwhile, do everything you can to earn their trust back.
4. Bring Back the Good Ol’ Days
In most cases, couples cease the sweet little things that they’ve been doing for each other after awhile of being in the relationship. This is one of the reasons that makes a person look for love in some other person. So while you’re trying to earn your partner’s trust back, bring the romance, care, and all that butterflies-in-stomach things alive. This will remind you and your partner of how much you mean to each other, which will strengthen your relationship and make your partner trust you a little more.
5. Endless Dedication
Like we said earlier, it is going to take quite a lot of time to get back to what you two once were. Therefore, prepare yourself. You have to put all of your dedication to rebuild your bond. Put your egos aside and reconcile after a fight. Usually one person’s ego, which they conveniently name as self-respect, will lead a small rift to grow into something grave. So, know that relationships always need a certain amount of effort and you gotta be ready to put them in.
6. Show a Little Support
You had a huge fight with your partner over something important. You said them stuff you shouldn’t and blamed them for something they shouldn’t be. You broke their heart. They are in complete emotional distress. And you have to take responsibility for what you have done. You need to empathize with them, communicate with them, even if most conversations lead to arguments. You need to show them that you’re always there and that you’re reliable. Get the groceries without them asking. Take care of the kids. Plan a surprise dinner. Cut them slack when they lose it. Let them rage on. Be supportive through all of their phases of healing.
It is not easy, for either of you but you gotta work it out. When your partner notices you doing everything you can to stay, they will start putting efforts, and their thoughts of walking away will gradually fade. Shower them with love, affection, and care. You may even have a better relationship than what you had before, after the storm passes. Stand your ground!