Let’s get some things straight here. Even if you believe in the Law of Attraction, you still need to take a shower and smell good. The Universe can only do so much for your love life without basic hygiene.
What I’m trying to get at is the question that’s been asked for millennia: how do I find, attract, and keep a partner?
I’m guessing you’ve asked yourself this question before or at least had someone ask you, “what’s your type?” or “What do you look for in a guy/girl?”
And I’m also guessing you may not have known exactly what you wanted. That’s why I think this article’s worth a read. It begs the question, “Do you know what you want?” Before you can start attracting you need to know just exactly what it is you want in your life.
Told in 7 steps in a funny and light style, you’ll learn a lot about yourself and your partner too.
How To Attract And Keep A Mate: The First 7 Steps
I have gotten numerous relationship questions in the past few days. The million dollar question: How to attract and keep a partner. Some of you have requested your questions not to be posted on the site- so here are some general guidelines. (My husband can vouch for these – He proposed in exactly two weeks from our first phone conversation)
How to Attract and Keep a Mate:
The First 7 Steps
Have you ever been asked the question, “So what are you looking for in a guy/girl?” Did you seriously ponder this question and honestly reply exactly what it is you are looking for? Or did you suddenly spit back “someone who is caring, loving, and decent looking.” Who doesn’t want someone caring and loving? Is that the best you can do in describing the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with? The person who will not only become your life partner, share your children’s DNA, become a business and financial partner, but will also be the person that decides whether you should be on life support or not? So why do you think you couldn’t come up with a better answer? The answer to that, my dear, is because YOU don’t have a clue about what you are looking for. And let me just tell you how hard it is to find something when you have no idea what it looks like. And the “I’ll know it when I see it,” group – that is the group of people that ends up in relationships you have to make a lot of excuses to keep. So in case it isn’t obvious by now – The number one step for finding and keeping a mate is:
Know what it is you are looking for. Start by making a list. Yes, an actual list, on a piece of paper, with a pen, in your own handwriting. Sit somewhere quiet, be relaxed (not with alcohol), and write down what qualities you are looking for in your ideal partner. Instead of using words like “caring, loving,” use more specific words to describe what a caring and loving person looks like and does. Think about how this person would make you feel. Imagine your ideal relationship as you make this list. Do you envision cooking together, or taking hikes, or perhaps just cuddling by the fireplace? Don’t worry about whether you believe you can get something or not. Just ask for everything you think is important to you.
For those of you that are writing about existing troubled relationships – I still want you to follow this step. Do it without the person you are with in mind. Start from scratch when you make this list. And then later see how your existing relationship holds up. Realize that if he/she doesn’t fit the bill today – they won’t fit two or three years from now, or after you’re married, or even after you have kids. Don’t open an academy. Often times, we get caught up in the “I can change him/her trap. People like to think they are so wonderful, or different, or good looking, that they actually can change someone. It is very hard to change life long habits or well routed ideals and values – unless maybe if your trying to change yourself.
Make a list and check it twice. Now, I want you to read your list and think about why you chose each quality or trait. Is it something that you must have – or are you looking for something to please others. I have a friend who keeps rejecting guys with amazing personalities, values, and ethics because she says “they are not good looking enough to introduce to her friends.” Get rid of qualities you might have selected for others (and while you at it get new, less vain friends). Now you should have a list of someone who fits the profile of your ideal mate. Fold the list and put in away. It has served its purpose and should only come out now when you are showing it to your ideal partner!