Most reviews on Tantric sex imply this big reminder: it is not about the orgasm. Instead, the art of Tantra focuses on enriching and prolonging the sexual experience by increasing your spiritual consciousness and intimacy with your partner. This takes the term “lovemaking” to another level, by embodying it mentally, physically and wholeheartedly. Are you ready for this?
For those of you not familiar with Tantric sex (in theory, at least – if you’re an expert, do drop us a note), or for those of you who immediately conjure up images of dirty ancient drawings or nudists having sex in yoga camp, well… it’s time to rise above that.
Tantric Sex, as Westerners know it, derives from Tantra, a religious ritual and meditation established in the 5th century in India. The Sanskrit word Tantra is rooted from the word tan, which means “to extend, expand, spread, continue, spin out, weave out, weave, to put forth or manifest”. How’s that for intense old school vocabulary?
Tantra purveyor Jennifer Lawless says that the idea is to achieve the ultimate satisfaction, way beyond the Big “O”. In the practice of Tantra, there is a sort of “being-consciousness-bliss” which has the power of self-evolution and self-involution. Therefore, the evolution of self helps to bring two people closer together.
In the words of our contributing author Osho Shivo in his post – Creative Sex Vs. Destructive Sex – “The key to creative sex is to let the impulse of desire pass over.” Considering that Tantric sex is an ancient art we are not advising anyone to instantly graduate to great practitioners. Instead, we did some further reading and managed to (contain our excitement and) narrow our findings down to the following helpful stages on how to introduce Tantra into your sexual experience, so you can ease into the gateway to sexual potency and spiritual ecstasy with your other half. Enjoy, apply (it is the weekend after all)… and try not to giggle :)
1. Prepare Your Inner Casanova/Seductress
Anticipation is a nerve-wrecker, but it can also be exciting. Find some time alone to soothe yourself into “sexual explorer” mode. Relax your body with a breathing exercise, by dancing to your favorite music or even doing some yoga stretches to warm your body up and loosen the tension in your muscles. If it helps, aromatherapy or a warm bath works well too. Going straight to wine (aha!) may get you to a different level, but we’ll leave that to your judgment.
2. Create Your Love Nest
It’s important that your setting creates a comfortable, relaxed and playful environment for you and your partner. Put away any clutter that would distract you, and this includes computers and mobile phones. Invest in flowers, candles, comfortable bedding and scented oils. If you need some background music to get you in the mood, we suggest instrumental tunes. Make sure your schedule allows you to take your time, as Tantric sex is not a sexual race.
3. Rediscover Each Other
All those years or months you’ve been together may have brought you closer intimately, but it’s easy to miss, forget and take certain things for granted. Face your partner and touch and caress his or her face, hair, neck, arms, legs, back and every nook and corner with your hands. Next, explore those parts with your mouth and tongue. Engaging in this lingering and sensual build will train men to self-control and enhance the women’s arousal. Use this time to fully focus on each other and the magic of the moment – it will come so give it time.
4. Breathe Each Other In
Many tantric experts recommend this element of Tantra. Straddle your partner’s lap (or you theirs) and harmonize your breathing to sync with each other. Inhale while they exhale, exhale while they inhale. Take these breaths of air deep down inside your body. Eventually, you can start to rock together while performing this exchange, and, engage in some gentle, erotic kissing. “Intercourse is not even necessary because you’re so merged,” assures Tantra instructor Dawn Cartwright. “Tantra is about diving deeply into desire and pleasure. If you feel good and ecstatic, then you’re on the right track.”
5. Use Your Hands – Perform A Tantric Massage
Tantric massage is also another essential element of Tantra, to stimulate energy flow and awaken senses as your body’s sensitivity increases. You don’t have to be a certified masseuse, as the focus here is to relax your partner with your loving touches. Rub the neck, back, shoulders, arms, hands, legs, and feet, as well as all the sensitive parts. Read your partner’s responses to make sure that you’ve applied comfortable pressure. The loving and attentive gesture of a Tantric massage will leave your partner feeling pampered, comfortable and trusting in your arms.
Have you applied Tantric sensuality into your sex life? If you have, how did it fulfill the experience for you and your partner? Okay, you don’t have to get graphic with us, but we’d still like to hear how it has improved the relationship between the two of you!