As a meditation teacher and a mentor one of the most common questions I get from my students is: “How can I forgive when I feel so much hurt?”
For many people the scars of the past remain very fresh and real. Being able to forgive while that wound is still open and raw is very challenging; yet forgiveness is one of the most important keys to living a life of happiness.
Without the ability to forgive, we are retaining in our body the toxic vibration of loathing, hate, and anger. With that energy in our body it’s impossible to be healthy, radiant and vital.
So how can we truly be free of that negative energy and embrace forgiveness? It’s suggested that forgiveness is the way to heal pain and be happy and healthy.
But therein lies the problem. Forgiveness is a huge challenge when you ache with the pain of the past. There is bitterness, resentment, and anger. Being able to forgive while that pain is there is almost impossible. The wound is still open and hasn’t healed, so it’s a constant reminder of the hurt. Forgiveness just won’t flow while that wound is still open.
Many people that come to me with forgiveness issues have so much pain that they are unable to forgive. This struggle to forgive creates more tension and discomfort in them because they were constantly being told by therapists, coaches and healers: “You NEED to forgive to get over this.”
However, what if we were to heal the pain first before we tried forgiving? What if we were able to place our attention on connecting to that ocean of love within us that will naturally dissolve the anger, resentment and bitterness? Then forgiveness will become a flow on effect that spills forth from your inner feeling of love.
Here is a technique that I give to my meditation students that helps cultivate self-love and heal the pain leading forth to forgiveness. Try it and see how it helps transform your pain and allows you to let go.
- When you’re in a relaxed state, whether it be after your daily meditation, while in rest-pose at the end yoga class, or in a quiet contemplative time of day – bring your awareness to the cavity within the rib cage.
- Visualise this cavity as a big spacious area enclosed by your ribs. Within that space, visualise a bright golden globe of light and love in the centre. This is your heart centre.
- From that heart centre, slowly feel the light and love spreading through the limbs of your body, down through your legs and out through your arms. Feel the light and love spreading up through your neck and head and through your entire body cavity until you’re glowing in light and love. Hold this space. Make this a daily practice and over time it will become your reality.
Through healing first, you’re able to connect with our core self love and truly embody it. Then the pain will dissolve and unconditional love will flow. Being able to forgive is an effortless flow that pours forth from a heart that is glowing in love.
When you’re consumed with pain, it can be difficult to move on and find the strength to forgive. Please share with us below how you get over that threshold and turn your pain into love and forgiveness.