In these five people, you can foresee how well you will do in life. There is a way to know if you’ll make it or break it. And the surprising fact is that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you!
Read Steve Little’s approach to the 5 closest people in your life. And tell us what you’ve learnt!
Beware the Five
by Steve Little, ThePerfectBizFinder.com
Before you continue reading this article I want you to stop and without thinking about it too much, make a list of the 5 people you consider yourself to be closest to right now.
The 5 people you spend the most time with. The 5 people most “involved” with your life.
Don’t evaluate or ponder the list….
Just grab a sheet of paper and write a list of the first 5 people that come to mind when you think about who you are closest to right now.
It does not matter who they are. He or she could be a spouse or significant other, a relative, a friend, a current or former co-worker or business associate… A friend from church or a recreational activity of some sort. Heck, it could be your grocer or the guy running the filling station down the road…
Whoever comes to mind, just quickly jot down a list of the first 5 names.
Got it? OK, set it aside for the time being and continue reading. You’ll see why I want you to do this first in a minute.
I was reflecting the other day on all the relationships I’ve had through-out the years. The most memorable experiences…the events…the places…the circumstances..and of course the people…. were all playing like a movie in my mind.
I’ll spare the details for now, but I noticed something important and empowering that I want to share with you.
Just like you, I’ve had good times and bad.
I’ve enjoyed the reward and elation of extraordinary successes… and I’ve suffered the disappointment and misery of gut-wrenching failure.
Obviously there were a great many factors at work in each situation. But there is one vitally important element I want to point out for you here and now… The people I surrounded myself at any given time throughout my life have had everything to do with the level of success I’ve experienced.
Now, before you get the wrong idea, I am NOT abdicating responsibility for the outcome to those around me… Clearly I am completely responsible for all the decisions I’ve made and actions I’ve taken. Including the people I chose to have around me.
Simply put…. As I reflect on my own personal experiences, it’s no small coincidence that during times of great success, I’d surrounded myself with successful people….
People who were uplifting, positive and encouraging….
People who always helped me see the opportunity within a struggle or trial… People who were successful in their own right, whether in business or not…. People who I could model after, and who were always willing to prop me up when I wavered.
In stark contrast, when looking back I can see that during times of my most abject and abysmal failures….
When every challenge was overwhelming…
When it seemed that anything and everything that could go wrong…did.
When possibilities seemed scarce and opportunities diminished…
When my days were full of uncertainty, fear and mind-numbing anxiety…
During these times I can see that I’d surrounded myself with unsuccessful people…
People who amplified and echoed my most discouraging trials…
People who discouraged and rejected possibility…
Who sang a constant chorus of naysaying and failure…
People who invented an endless list of reasons why they and by implication I would not succeed….
People who were stuck within their own struggle and who, well intended or not, were unequipped to provide the support and encouragement necessary to generate success even for themselves, let alone me.
Here is the lesson for you in this:
The quantity and quality of your success will be measured as the average of the successes of the 5 people closest to you.
Your financial success will be the average of the financial success of the 5 people closest to you….
Your success in business or employment will be the average of that of the 5 people closest to you…
Your success in recreation, health & fitness, relationships and community will all be that of the 5 people closest
If the 5 people closest to you are as or more successful than you are in any or all of these areas then you can count on growing your success in each area accordingly.
If on the other hand the 5 people closest to you are less successful than you in any or all of these, then you can expect your success experience to contract to meet the average of theirs.
This is what I mean by the expression: “Beware the Five”
So, look at the list you made when you first started reading.
Consider where each of these people are relative to you within the 6 key areas of success.
- Finance and Money
- Business or Employment
- Recreation and Fun
- Health and Fitness
Be honest with yourself.
Are they more successful or less successful than you in each of these.
In general terms, do they uplift and encourage you? Or do they restrain and dampen your enthusiasm?
I know it can be difficult to accept… But the truth is that the people around you either contribute to or detract from your accomplishment and success. There is no neutral.
So what do you see in the list you’ve made? Are these people you can model after and achieve more of what you want? Are these people who awaken and inspire greatness in you? What do you see when you read your list? Honestly….
And perhaps more importantly…. What are you going to do about it?
Now before you jump to any conclusions I am not telling you that you have to dump your friends or divorce your spouse if he or she is not more successful than you are.
That is not the point.
But, if your list contains people who are not more successful than you are then you DO need to consider ways you can invest more of yourself with people who are more successful than you and in so doing uplift the likelihood of your own success.
Here are two powerful ways to proceed.
First, find people are more successful than you are and start networking with them. Befriend them…. Find ways you might be able to contribute to their efforts and offer your support freely… Keep raising the bar on these relationships. Keep networking, finding and engaging with people who are at least as successful as you aspire to be. Genuinely and authentically invest yourself in these relationships… not selfishly or with an agenda. But selflessly and with a sincere desire to improve your capacity to contribute to the success of others.
As you do, you’ll draw everyone around you up to the next level…
You’ll literally be generating success for all and in that very process, you’ll be guaranteeing your own astonishing success. In the beginning keep an eye on the amount of time and energy you invest in these relationships. You’ll find a direct correlation to the growth of your success.
Next, if one or more of the people on your list is not more successful than you and is NOT taking the hint and riding your success train as it were, then you going to have to address it with him or her directly.
Here is what I suggest…
Arrange to have a quiet one on one discussion at a place and a time when you can both be 100% engaged and present. In as sincere and loving a manner as possible tell him or her how much you care about him or her and how much you value your friendship or companionship…
Explain what you’ve learned in this lesson….
And then kindly and respectfully let him or her know how their behavior effects you and curtails your success. Assure him or her that you want to continue with the relationship and that it is important that he or she be “on-board”
with your success plan.
And here is the important part…
Explain specifically how he or she can help you and support you… Then, when your done, ask him or her if he or she would be willing to do that for you. Assuming your relationship / friendship is genuine to begin with, you will be amazed and astonished at the response you get. Regardless of what’s gone before, you will literally transform the people around you…
As you cultivate success relationships with both your new and old associates… As you all grow to appreciate the importance of this fundamental truth… You will experience success in a way you’ve never experienced and probably never knew you could. If you follow this simple bit of coaching you’ll not only guarantee your success, but you’ll be contributing and growing the success of others each and every day.
I would like to hear from you about this.
If this exercise has revealed something to you, if it has helped you break-out of stymied and success constrained relationships and habits, then let me know by commenting below.
As you apply the simple techniques I’ve given you, let me know how they work for you.
I anticipate hearing the extraordinary.
I’m standing for all that’s possible for you in life and business.