There’s a statement I hear over and over again from clients who walk into my office. It goes like this: “If I could just lose X pounds, everything would be perfect!”
Maybe you’ve heard someone say this too? Maybe you’ve said it?
It’s as if losing weight immediately results in having more confidence, more success, more friends and a golden ticket to beginning the rest of your life!
Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen. Here are three reasons why:
1) Your Body Changes But Your Mind Doesn’t
I’ve known thousands of women who have lost the weight but still struggle with the heavy thoughts and beliefs that contributed to the weight gain in the first place.
The fundamental thing that has to shift in order to create permanent change is how you see yourself: aka your “self-image”.
Chances are at some point in your life you became disconnected from the authentic, beautiful and brilliant self that you truly are, and as a result, became unhappy. It just so happens that unhappiness is one of the biggest triggers of weight gain.
In essence, your unhappiness has nothing to do with the weight. The weight is a by-product of you not being happy.
If you want to permanently change this, it’s necessary to go back to the core where it all started.
If you were to realize that you’re part of something infinitely bigger, connected to everyone and everything in a way that creates beautiful, permanent harmony in any given moment, things would be radically different.
You would have no trouble making healthier choices because you would want to honor the perfection of your divine-self at all times.
2) It’s Not About the Destination
“As a rule, nothing you lack now will make you happy when you get it.” – Michael Crighton
I agree with the above quote completely.
Think about something you really, really wanted and how you felt when you finally got it. Did it light your fire? Probably. Do you still feel the excitement to this very day? Probably not. Chances are, it was fun for a while but at some point the flame reduced to small ember until it eventually burnt out. The real excitement came in the journey to get that thing.
The hard work you put in to be able to afford that dress. The weeks or months you made do with that worn out pair of shoes because you were saving up for new ones.
You see, the thing that ultimately leads us to happiness is a mindful challenge.
That’s right… happiness is an inside job. True happiness lies in the process, not the end result.
In fact, studies show that women who eat healthy or work out feel happier – even though their bodies haven’t changed at all!
The deep down, soul-stroking kind of happiness comes when you’re setting goals and achieving them. When you’re connecting with a community of like-minded people who are on the same journey you are. When you feel the strength of your own body-increasing workout after workout.
True happiness lies in the journey.
3) Self-Hate is Not Replaced With Self-Love But With Fear
The reason we try to lose weight, tone up and look fab is because we have a love/hate relationship with our bodies. We love to hate them.
If I had a nickel for every time someone said to me, “I hate my stomach”, I would be mega wealthy and writing this article from a remote island.
The fact is that we carry around so much hate for our physical form that when we do manage to lose the weight, flatten the tummy and lift our backsides, we kick the door down for fear to come in and curl up on our couch.
This unwanted houseguest will become a dominant factor in your life and you’ll start to make decisions from a place of fear instead of love and happiness.
You won’t toast with a glass of champagne to celebrate your parent’s 40th wedding anniversary because you’ll be afraid of the extra calories. You’ll cancel dinner with friends because you’re afraid you’ll get caught up in the moment and overeat. You’ll shut down simple pleasures, like the intoxicating taste of chocolate, because of the overwhelming fear that you might gain back even one ounce.
This fear can completely run and ruin your life.
By starting from a place of truly, madly and deeply loving your authentic self, and getting your dream body as a side effect of that love, you’ll hang a “No Vacancy” sign on your door and fear will slink away knowing that it has no effect on you anymore.