Does ‘love’ necessarily lead to happiness? Do you need to be happy in order to find love? Love and happiness fit together hand-in-glove, but only when you understand the broader, deeper meaning of this far-too-casually-tossed-about, 4-letter-word.
Think about all the famous songs proclaiming the misery of love. Whether it’s the sappy, Country-Western tunes that sentimentalize dysfunctional relations, the Blues standards with so many odes to “s/he done me wrong”, or rock-n-roll toe-tappers teaching youth the confusing message that “love hurts.”
What’s going on here?
To answer that question, we have to go back to our linguistic roots – Latin. Don’t worry, I won’t get all complicated and wordy ;) …
The word “Love” as we know it today is a murky term that might describe the way you feel about your partner, your kid, your mom or even your car.
But in the Latin language, what we know of today as ‘Love’ actually had different words for different meanings. Check it out …
- Philos means ‘brotherly love’. Think Philidelphia – the city of Brotherly Love.
- Agape means selfless, charitable love. Think Mother Teresa.
- Eros means romantic love. Think, ‘erotic’.
Now it’s this third kind of ‘love’ that causes all the problems. Why? Because erotic/romantic love socks it to us right where it hurts – the ego. And when the ego is wounded, misery is a shoe-in.
Love and happiness go together when love comes from the heart and not the ego. When we love without condition, without attachment, fear or expectation we give love freely. And in return – a 10-fold gift of happiness!
Where in your life do love and happiness fit hand-in-glove? Leave a comment and let us know.