Life tends to change direction when we hit the middle of the road.
Sometimes this change is embedded in time and growth. Kids move out, retirement approaches and we gain a new perspective on the importance of friends, family and happiness.
In other instances, change may be forced by an unwelcome life event. Divorce, the loss of a loved one, or workplace redundancy can all leave us feeling devoid of direction.
How can you stay motivated and find purpose midway through life?
After a horrific divorce that caused me to lose my business and sent me bankrupt ten years ago, I was faced with this very same question myself. It was a time when I was frenetic and was on IVA debt help for the loss my business suffered.
It took me a long time to find a new direction through Clarity Road. Too long. This is the advice that I wish I had received in finding my own passionate purpose midway through life.
1. Make peace with the past
Before finding a new sense of purpose, you will need to put the past to bed. It’s true that some wounds can never completely heal: but leaving a painful experience or relationship unresolved will ultimately hinder your ability to whole-heartedly move on.
You are the only person who can truly understand your story. You are also the only person with the real power to control it.
Have the difficult conversation with that important person. Allow yourself to truly grieve the loss of a loved one. Speak to a counsellor about a traumatic experience. Have a good cry when your kids move out for good.
Accepting and addressing the changes in your life will help you to feel closure and allow you to truly move forward with the next phase of your life.
2. Let others in
When we reach a personal crossroads, it is our natural reaction to retreat. We feel highly vulnerable and fall back into ourselves, rather than sharing our concerns. Now isn’t a time to withdraw from loved ones. On the contrary, it is essential for your sense of wellbeing to talk through the difficulties that you are facing.
Not only will this help you to relieve the internal pressure build up, but also open your mind to new perspectives surrounding your potential purpose. The people who know you best will give you honest, realistic feedback that guides you toward a passion that rings true to your next life phase.
Sometimes the answer that we are seeking is right in front of us: we just need a fresh pair of eyes to point it out.
3. Explore
We’ve all heard that if nothing changes, nothing changes. When your soul is crying out for something new, there’s no point in waiting for it to find you. It’s time to start exploring!
Get proactive in the community, do some research into local meet-up groups or investigate what it takes to re-join the squash club.
If these in person social interactions feel too intimidating, ease yourself into exploration by engaging in online networks.
Your method isn’t important, as long as you begin to take initiative and actively seek out new experiences. By so doing you will begin to make new connections and get a feel for what truly resonates with you.
Once you hear echoes of yourself in a job, a hobby or a good cause, you can hone in on your calling.
4. Forget about the idea of a single purpose
It’s a fundamental part of human nature that we grow, shift and change. I know that I’m not the same person I was ten, five or even one year ago. And I’m okay with that!
In the midst of this flux, it is naïve to think that we have a single life purpose that can be pinned down and pursued until the very end. Put simply – it goes against our make-up.
If you’re at a crossroads, don’t get hung up on trying to find an everlasting purpose.
Instead, listen to your heart and focus on what puts fire in your belly now.
