“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”
~ C. JoyBell C.
The diverse range of people that live on this planet never ceases to amaze me.
We’re all one species, with a near identical biological makeup, yet the differences you see from person to person are nothing less than intergalactic.
But what interests me most is that this behavior can be seen by looking at one single mind. One day you could be on top of the world, loving every minute of life and 100% content with you are, when the next, you could be steeped in doubt and worry and crushing feelings of self-hatred.
Like many people, I’ve felt both. But unlike many, I’ve managed to break the cycle for good.
That’s not to say it was easy, but rather that there comes a point in your life when a certain amount of tiredness meets with a little knowledge and understanding, to cause a deep change inside of yourself, which, once it happens, is difficult to ever go back from.
These changes are there for everyone to experience, all it takes is a little time, love, and dedication. So pause the self-loathing for just a moment and soak in these 3 simple yet profound reasons to fully embrace self-loving.
1. You accept full responsibility for your place in the world
“When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude.” ~ Viktor Frankl
We are born into the world through no choice of our own, and thrown straight into survival mode without any chance to get to grips with who we are, and what we are doing here.
Nevertheless we push on, getting further and further involved in life and further and further away from the open matter of acceptance. We worry, feel insecure, suffer from self-doubt, and live in a state of denial from the truth.
We may not have a choice where we are born or what we are born with, but we do have the choice to accept and embrace what we are given in their entirety.
As Frankl said, once you realize the uniqueness of your situation and the impossibility of being replaced by another person, it becomes a duty for yourself and those around you to take full responsibility and care for who you are.
2. You release stacks of mental energy
“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~ Yogi Bhajan
There’s no doubt it’s draining to be constantly battling with the same problems over and over inside your head.
But what we often fail to see is that in the process, this precious mental energy is being robbed from other more fulfilling thoughts and experiences.
This is only clear when you begin to refrain from investing energy in the negative. Suddenly you have more energy, your mood is lifted, and you have new reserves to spend on yourself and others.
It’s strange to think, but forcing yourself to make small changes in the way you view yourself is the best way to get the self-loving process underway.
It’s just like Einstein said: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” This goes to say that once you start to entertain new ways of thinking, your mindset shifts, and the once seemingly unsolvable becomes solvable, and the impossible becomes fully within your reach.
3. You start giving, receiving, and radiating more love
“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” — Henry Miller
It’s not uncommon to think you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself, and even feel guilty for doing so. Self-love is perceived as one and the same as selfishness, and thus it brings with it all the same side effects.
In reality they are polar opposites. Selfishness is a symptom of greed, and self-love is a symptom of generosity.
Friends, co-workers, families, societies; we are social animals who cannot survive alone, thus we rely on external groups to shape how we think, feel, and behave. Acting in these groups can confuse our idea of self-love with selfishness.
It could be that having time to yourself makes you feel selfish as you’ll be away from your family, or that taking the promotion won’t be fair for your colleagues, or even that you are not worthy of laughing and enjoying yourself as you haven’t achieved the same as others.
Whatever it is, loving yourself doesn’t mean you simply ignore these facts. Now that would be greedy. We invest in ourselves to make ourselves better people, better friends, better husbands or wives. So if you are struggling to do it for yourself, at least do it for them.
So much love is denied from the world when we trap it inside ourselves.
If we just dedicate a little bit of time to self-loving, it can be freed, injecting greater passion and meaning into your life and even helping to ignite the spark that flickers inside of others.