“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Do you find it easy to forgive people who have hurt or abused you in some way?
I didn’t until I started to understand that I was hurting myself more by maintaining a tight knot of resentment and anger towards the people who had wronged me. As I learned to love myself, and make loving myself more important than hating the other person, a profound shift happened within me.
I felt more loving not only towards myself, but also towards everyone and all situations in my life. This shift in perspective produced a state of relaxation, ease, and trust that all was right with my world. I gained self-confidence, courage and compassion, while recognizing that forgiving an abuser does not make what they did ok. Nor does it mean that one has to spend time with them. However, by choosing to love – rather than resentment – this takes you to a higher vibrational level so you can attract good things. It’s a win-win situation for you.
1) Mind Your Own Vibration
Your business is to mind your own vibrational level and keep it high with love, happiness and joy. This takes focus, energy and attention and reaps rich rewards. When you take focus off the other person and keep it on yourself, you don’t get sucked into the vibration-lowering energy of blame, resentment and anger. Being unforgiving keeps you at the lower vibrational level of your abuser. Forgiving is a choice that raises your vibrational level as high as you want. You move from victim to master of your life. How wonderful is that?
2) Watch the Ego
Here we have to be vigilant because the ego likes to be right. It wants to take revenge and get even. Now, here’s where you have to be careful, as it’s highly likely that you are right and that the person should not have hurt you. However, getting revenge does not serve you. Know that the abuser is creating their own negative vibration and activating Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion which states that every action creates an equal and opposite reaction (sometimes known as the Law of Cause and Effect or karma). We must choose, therefore, between being right and being happy. And, believe me, being happy is always the best choice!
3) Feel Love Expanding
As you continue to put your energy, attention and focus on being happy, a miracle occurs. Love grows and expands, filling up your inner well and then overflowing for others to share and enjoy.
4) Experience Gratitude Arising
Being thankful for all of our experiences magnifies our happiness. Gratitude lifts us into a realm of possibility where dreams really can come true. It helps us access a place where trust, creativity and imagination reside.
As you live joyfully and contentedly, regardless of your situation, you discover that joy is not dependent on anything or anyone. It arises from within you. It is already there as you already have what you seek.
When you choose love over a negative reaction, you bring yourself to a higher vibrational level of joy, peace and happiness. You therefore attract more love. Your life becomes easier, more fulfilling and purposeful.
Love is truth. Whenever you speak your truth, love is there. While the other person might not agree with or like what you say, love has a depth and a resonance that will keep you in alignment with your true self and serve you. You might not understand how right away, but in time, all things become clear.
Always choose love. Bring love to the situation, even if you are the only one doing so.
This article really struck a chord with us as it made us examine how we hold onto anger or resentment, and how ultimately, we’re the only ones who suffer. Please tell us whether it had a similar impact on you.